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Susan Alexander Yates

Susan Alexander Yates

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Relieve the holiday stress before it arrives

by Susan Alexander Yates

Just the other day I was chatting with some friends, primarily mothers of young children. They were feeling anxious about the holiday events already being scheduled. In addition they were feeling nervous about different family members coming to visit. Finally one commented, “I just want to get through it. I want it to be over!”

We can all identify with this in some way.

It is indeed a sad commentary on our culture and on our life styles. What is meant to be a season of celebration has today become a season of stress.

What can we do to alleviate some of the stress and recapture a sense of the true spirit of Christmas before it arrives?

Three things will help.

1. Lower your expectations.

The media often creates a vision of

the holidays as a time of warm family relationships, relatives sitting by the fire roasting chestnuts, children happily giving and receiving, and of course snow falling everywhere. Families sick with the flu, kids fighting over toys, a Dad who isn’t there, painful relationships, a schedule way too full, an unexpected emergency, and the lack of funds are rarely pictured. It is so easy for us to become swept up in what we think it should look like as opposed to the reality. And we tend to think we’re the only ones–surely no one else’s life is like mine!

We need to define realistic expectations for this coming season. Brainstorm with your husband or a close girlfriend. Ask, what do I need to do to live into the great commandments during this season? How can I lesson my expectations on relationships, and grant grace instead of succumbing to disappointment? How can I prepare my children to understand the real meaning of this season?

2. Simplify your life style.

I have found one of the leading causes of stress is that we try to cram too much into these days. We live in a culture that screams, the more, the better. And yet often less is definitely better. Instead of watching your calendar fill up, go ahead now and block out personal time, couple times and family times. Then when that really nice invitation comes along have the courage to say,” I’m so sorry we have a conflict.” It is far easier to set boundaries before the commitments start to pile up. We can also simplify our own traditions. Do you really need to decorate your mailbox because all the other neighbors do? Do you have to give gifts to every family member? Because John and I have large families we’ve always drawn names for siblings and spouses. For years we each gave one gift to one sibling or spouse. Today we just call for a holiday catch-up. Our own 5 children and spouses draw names between each. It simplifies gift giving as well as saving money.

3. Determine what you can delete or postpone.

 You may have a tradition of a cookie bake with girl friends. But do you really need to do it at this time? Why not postpone it until the end of January when life is not so packed. You’ll relieve stress and enjoy it more. Or those couples you do a Christmas event with every year? Why not postpone this gathering until a date in the winter? Look at what you have done in the past and determine what to eliminate this year. Be courageous and eliminate 1 or 2 things you usually do and instead declare a family night at home alone. It helps to remember that every time you say “yes” to something you have to say ”no” to something else.

The coming season is a time to Be still and know that I am God (Psalm 46:10). We have to be ruthless with our schedules and grant grace in our relationships if we want to soak in the miracles of this season.

Post a comment on your tips for relieving the stress of this season. It’s fun to learn from each other!

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Christmas, Holidays
November 29, 2017 · Leave a Comment

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Hello, I’m Susan.

Susan Alexander Yates

I’m a wife (of more than 50 years), mom to five children (including a set of twins), and grandmother to 21 (including a set of quadruplets!). My favorite time of the year is when all my kids and grandkids are together for a week of “cousins and family camp” in the foothills of the Shenandoah Mountains of Virginia.

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More of our Family Camp fun from Labor Day weekend More of our Family Camp fun from Labor Day weekend. Such a joy! ⁣
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Be sure to check out the blog for more details and pics. (Link in bio or go to susanalexanderyates.com/blog)⁣
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* Poppy (John) is always happy to get help with the horses and the kids love them.⁣
* There's always a competition of some kind going on! Volleyball, a hula hoop contest, a ping-pong tournament. ⁣
* The "ice cream gutter" is a cherished annual tradition!⁣
* Lots of hanging out, and even some quiet moments, but not a lot of sleep. ⁣
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If you want to host a camp or family event of your own, check out my book Cousin Camp for all kinds of ideas. (Link in bio.)⁣
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#christianmom #christianfamily #grandparent #cousincamp #familycamp
One Word: Mystery One Verse: “To them God ch One Word: 
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You are a God of mystery. It’s a glorious mystery. I can’t explain you even though sometimes I want to. Your mystery is part of what makes you so much greater than man. Thank you that you, with all of your glorious mystery, have chosen to dwell in me.
John and I are in Colorado for a week’s vacation John and I are in Colorado for a week’s vacation, still celebrating 54 years of marriage! We had a fun dinner, sharing about folks who have been role models-mentors for us in ministry and family life over these years. It sparked a fun discussion and thankful memories!
We're so grateful we got to host another Family Ca We're so grateful we got to host another Family Camp over Labor Day weekend!⁣
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Here's a peek behind the scenes. I'm sharing all the details (and more pics!) over on the blog, check it out. (Link in bio or go to susanalexanderyates.com/blog)⁣
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1 - We had 33 of us this year!⁣
2 - So much prep and shopping. But I never clean before they come because I learned that's futile. 😜⁣
3 - Lots of cousin bonding.⁣
4 - My daughter-in-law @christenbyates, who's a professional artist, set up an art station this year and the kids loved it.⁣
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6 - John led a short teaching time every day, this year on Psalm 139.⁣
7 - Meals are crazy when you're cooking for 33 people!⁣
8 - There are shoes everywhere. 😂 ⁣
9 - The kids actually did dinner cleanup this year, without any prompting! ⁣
10 - A few of our guys.💙⁣
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#christianfamily #cousincamp #familycamp #christianmom #grandparent
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Catch the blog later this week for details and more pics.
This photo of me and John is from our trip to Isra This photo of me and John is from our trip to Israel last fall. When we first got married, I didn't know what being a pastor's wife would entail. Now after more than 50 years of marriage I understand a little better (although I can always learn more!).⁣
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I'm sharing an interview over on my blog with @thegospelcoalition's Front Row Seat series on Supporting Our Husbands.⁣
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We discussed how pastors’ wives can support and encourage their husbands in ministry, marriage, and life. But so much of this applies to any marriage, whether your husband is a pastor or not.⁣
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This is how we feel right now -- we finished our A This is how we feel right now -- we finished our Annual Family Camp yesterday!

4 days with 33 kids and grands; 19 teens sleeping on floors and outside, 44 bags of trash, 15 gallons of ice cream, 67 dirty towels, 135 ping pong games, 90 individual miles hiking on the AT, gleaning from Psalm 139, 532 tickles and hugs, and 2 exhausted grandparents--who are deliriously grateful!

More pics coming soon.

* numbers are estimates 😆

Copyright © 2023 · Susan Alexander Yates · All Rights Reserved
Calligraphy by Jessica Blanchard · Paintings by Christen Yates
Blog and Ask Susan Photo by Natalie Puls Photography · Books Photo by Cambria Elizabeth

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