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Susan Alexander Yates

Susan Alexander Yates

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Ask Susan: How to Balance Love and Discipline

by Susan Alexander Yates

Have you ever struggled to know how to balance love and discipline as you’re raising your children?  I think it’s one of parenting’s biggest dilemmas.  How much discipline is too much?  Are you being too tough?  Are you being too lenient?

I have a few insights for you that I hope will help.

First, remember that both love and discipline are critical!  I like to think of them as partners.  Imagine them at both ends of a seesaw — it’s about finding the balance.  We can fall into a trap if we go too far in either direction.

First, there’s the trap of self-esteem. Some parents are so concerned about their children being happy, they give into their every whim and don’t say “no.”  But rather than making kids happy and secure, this actually erodes their security, because deep down they know they shouldn’t be in control.

Second is the trap of regulation.  If you’re constantly barking orders at your kids, if you’re not giving them time to breathe, if there’s no grace, your children will get discouraged and may feel hurt.

One key whichever end of the spectrum you find yourself: Have a few important rules that you consistently follow through on.

Watch the video to hear me expound on this further.  (Including: why sometimes it’s good for your child to get caught!)

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April 3, 2019 · 1 Comment

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  1. Gugu says

    April 7, 2019 at 5:18 pm

    Great word in season sent to me by a friend.
    much needed encouragement for a mum with three very young children.
    looking forward to going through the rest of your posts.

    Reply

Hello, I’m Susan.

Susan Alexander Yates

I’m a wife (of more than 50 years), mom to five children (including a set of twins), and grandmother to 21 (including a set of quadruplets!). My favorite time of the year is when all my kids and grandkids are together for a week of “cousins and family camp” in the foothills of the Shenandoah Mountains of Virginia.

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