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Susan Alexander Yates

Susan Alexander Yates

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8 Keys To Make Your Marriage Last and Thrive

by Susan Alexander Yates

This summer John and I will celebrate 49 years of marriage.  It seems to have gone by way too fast, but with 5 married kids and 21 grand children we haven’t had much time to notice the pace. We are simply thankful. Today we are most grateful for our sweet companionship.

No, our marriage isn’t perfect. We still fight and we still have to forgive–frequently. But the years of pressing together through challenges and blessings have produced a stronger blend of oneness.

John-and-Susan

Renewing our vows on our 40th Anniversary

Recently I jotted down 8 ingredients that have helped me as a wife to grow in my marriage.

1. Recognize that no man can love you as much as you want to be loved.

Only God can. Run to him first. Spend time in His word and in prayer. It will relieve the pressure on your marriage.

2. Have a few close girl friends with whom you can share your heart.

These should be women who are for your marriage, always pushing you to Christ and towards your husband.

3. Refuse the temptation to “emotionally withdraw”.

And you will be tempted–many times. Recognize it, resist it and instead do whatever it takes to grow closer to one another.

4. Pray daily for your husband

Pray for God to bless him, for him to know how much God loves him, for his professional needs, and for God to give him some Christian guy friends.

5. Make time with him a priority.

Put him before the kids. Establish a regular date and keep it.

6. Hit the “delete button” on your mental list of the things he does wrong.

Instead ask God to remind you of one trait you appreciate in him every day. Occasionally tell him. This is your daily marriage vitamin.

7. Do fun, silly, new things together and nurture laughter.

(See photo below for reference)

8. Be quick to ask for forgiveness and to forgive, even if you don’t feel like it or want to.

Healing takes time but the healing process begins with forgiveness.

Marriage is a gift. Your husband is a gift. And with God at the center of your union you can grow closer as the years increase.

The picture at the top was taken on our 40th anniversary when we surprised our kids at our Family Camp by re-doing our vows.  Next year we’ll hit the big 50 and we are open to any and all suggestions!

Originally Posted at MomLife Today
Republished at Club31Women

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Comments

  1. Linda Dietz says

    April 25, 2018 at 7:38 pm

    We too, would love suggestions as we will hit the 50 yr mark next June 14th, Lord willing!

    Reply
    • susan says

      April 28, 2018 at 4:58 pm

      Great Linda. Keep in touch and I’ll let you know what we hear!
      Blessings, Susan

      Reply
  2. Susan Yates says

    August 24, 2015 at 11:30 pm

    Joanna,
    thanks so much for writing! We just with we lived closer to you!
    Hugs, Susan

    Reply
  3. Joanna Edwards says

    August 21, 2015 at 6:40 pm

    I always love your advice!

    Reply
  4. Kathy COOKE says

    August 20, 2015 at 11:12 pm

    Hi Susan! You’re articles are such a blessing. Last weekend, our son Daniel got married! As he and Anna start their lives together, I will share the 8 ingredients article with them…relatable to them as much to us, after 33 years! How awesome to see all your grandkids! Can’t wait to start that journey. (:
    BLessings to you and John.
    Love, Kathy

    Reply
    • Susan Yates says

      August 24, 2015 at 11:29 pm

      Congratulations to Daniel. I heard from Kim Doerr how wonderful the wedding was!
      Miss you all still!
      Love, Susan

      Reply
  5. Lynn Owen says

    August 20, 2015 at 10:24 pm

    I’m impressed you can still fit in your wedding dress. We are on 46 too. I appreciated your 8 reminders on marriage. We need to work on a few of those.

    Reply
    • Susan Yates says

      August 24, 2015 at 11:27 pm

      The funny thing is that I couldn’t zip it up the back so was new style backless:)
      love ya, Susan

      Reply
  6. Susan Clarkson Keller says

    August 20, 2015 at 2:32 am

    I especially like that daily “vitamin” discipline…it is SO easy to focus on the negative! I needed to hear this today, Susan. I love you and all you are doing for the Kingdom. I want to grow up to be just like YOU! 🙂

    Reply
    • Susan Yates says

      August 24, 2015 at 11:26 pm

      I love you Susan Clarkson! I admire you so much and can’t wait to see in in SC sometime!

      Reply

Hello, I’m Susan.

Susan Alexander Yates

I’m a wife (of more than 50 years), mom to five children (including a set of twins), and grandmother to 21 (including a set of quadruplets!). My favorite time of the year is when all my kids and grandkids are together for a week of “cousins and family camp” in the foothills of the Shenandoah Mountains of Virginia.

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More of our Family Camp fun from Labor Day weekend More of our Family Camp fun from Labor Day weekend. Such a joy! ⁣
⁣
Be sure to check out the blog for more details and pics. (Link in bio or go to susanalexanderyates.com/blog)⁣
⁣
* Poppy (John) is always happy to get help with the horses and the kids love them.⁣
* There's always a competition of some kind going on! Volleyball, a hula hoop contest, a ping-pong tournament. ⁣
* The "ice cream gutter" is a cherished annual tradition!⁣
* Lots of hanging out, and even some quiet moments, but not a lot of sleep. ⁣
⁣
If you want to host a camp or family event of your own, check out my book Cousin Camp for all kinds of ideas. (Link in bio.)⁣
⁣
#christianmom #christianfamily #grandparent #cousincamp #familycamp
One Word: Mystery One Verse: “To them God ch One Word: 
Mystery 
 
One Verse:
“To them God chose to make known how great among the Gentiles are the riches of the glory of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.” Colossians 1:27
 
One Thought:
You are a God of mystery. It’s a glorious mystery. I can’t explain you even though sometimes I want to. Your mystery is part of what makes you so much greater than man. Thank you that you, with all of your glorious mystery, have chosen to dwell in me.
John and I are in Colorado for a week’s vacation John and I are in Colorado for a week’s vacation, still celebrating 54 years of marriage! We had a fun dinner, sharing about folks who have been role models-mentors for us in ministry and family life over these years. It sparked a fun discussion and thankful memories!
We're so grateful we got to host another Family Ca We're so grateful we got to host another Family Camp over Labor Day weekend!⁣
⁣
Here's a peek behind the scenes. I'm sharing all the details (and more pics!) over on the blog, check it out. (Link in bio or go to susanalexanderyates.com/blog)⁣
⁣
1 - We had 33 of us this year!⁣
2 - So much prep and shopping. But I never clean before they come because I learned that's futile. 😜⁣
3 - Lots of cousin bonding.⁣
4 - My daughter-in-law @christenbyates, who's a professional artist, set up an art station this year and the kids loved it.⁣
5 - Cousins with their camp journals. (I keep the journals at my house and they get to write in them every year.)⁣
6 - John led a short teaching time every day, this year on Psalm 139.⁣
7 - Meals are crazy when you're cooking for 33 people!⁣
8 - There are shoes everywhere. 😂 ⁣
9 - The kids actually did dinner cleanup this year, without any prompting! ⁣
10 - A few of our guys.💙⁣
⁣
#christianfamily #cousincamp #familycamp #christianmom #grandparent
One Word: Shows One Verse: “But God shows hi One Word:  Shows
 
One Verse:

“But God shows his love for us in that while we were sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8
 
One Thought:

If you, God Almighty, would send your son to die for me in my own wickedness, then how much more will you show me how to make the decision I need to make.
Cousin love at Family Camp! These are 2 of our you Cousin love at Family Camp! These are 2 of our youngest grands. (We have 21!)

Catch the blog later this week for details and more pics.
This photo of me and John is from our trip to Isra This photo of me and John is from our trip to Israel last fall. When we first got married, I didn't know what being a pastor's wife would entail. Now after more than 50 years of marriage I understand a little better (although I can always learn more!).⁣
⁣
I'm sharing an interview over on my blog with @thegospelcoalition's Front Row Seat series on Supporting Our Husbands.⁣
⁣
We discussed how pastors’ wives can support and encourage their husbands in ministry, marriage, and life. But so much of this applies to any marriage, whether your husband is a pastor or not.⁣
⁣
Check it out -- link in bio, or go to susanalexanderyates.com/blog⁣
⁣
You might want to share it with your pastor's wife -- it will encourage her!⁣
⁣
@kristen_wetherell  @kario312⁣
⁣
#christianwife  #pastorswife  #christianmarriage
One Word: Founder One Verse: “...let us run One Word:  Founder
 
One Verse:

“...let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith." Hebrews 12: 1-2
 
One Thought:

You are the author of my faith. You began it, Father. It is yours. I ask you to be perfecting it. Thank you that even this isn't up to me. My part is to fix my eyes on you and let you do your work within me.
This is how we feel right now -- we finished our A This is how we feel right now -- we finished our Annual Family Camp yesterday!

4 days with 33 kids and grands; 19 teens sleeping on floors and outside, 44 bags of trash, 15 gallons of ice cream, 67 dirty towels, 135 ping pong games, 90 individual miles hiking on the AT, gleaning from Psalm 139, 532 tickles and hugs, and 2 exhausted grandparents--who are deliriously grateful!

More pics coming soon.

* numbers are estimates 😆

Copyright © 2023 · Susan Alexander Yates · All Rights Reserved
Calligraphy by Jessica Blanchard · Paintings by Christen Yates
Blog and Ask Susan Photo by Natalie Puls Photography · Books Photo by Cambria Elizabeth

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