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Susan Alexander Yates

Susan Alexander Yates

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What Every Wife Needs: Two Simple Things to Tell Your Husband!

by Susan Alexander Yates

Hey Ladies, since we’ve just had Valentine’s Day I thought it would be good to look at something that’s been key in our marriage. You might feel like your husband doesn’t understand or meet your needs (and that’s a big topic!).

But here’s the thing — we can be hard to please and hard to understand. It’s part of our mystery! It can be enticing but it can also be very frustrating for our husbands. Pleasing us seems simple — to us. But for them it’s not so clear.

Here’s some encouragement to pass along to the men in your life: your husband, friend, son, etc.

John and I, still having fun after 52 years!

Hey Guys,

For over 52 years I’ve had the privilege of being married to my husband John, and I’ve also had the fun of hanging out with many young couples.  I want to encourage you. I know we wives can be tough to understand and no matter what you do, it hardly ever seems it’s enough!

Recently a friend asked my husband, “After all these years do you understand your wife?   “Understand her—no way,” he laughed. “Enjoy her, yes!”

I want to give you a hint that just might help you in understanding 2 of your wife’s needs. Picture for a moment a flashlight. One that takes 2 “Double A” batteries. Over time it’s easy for these batteries to grow dim. They just get worn down. Sometimes one will go out before the other. Soon the flashlight will begin to flicker and the light will fade. It’s time to recharge, to put new batteries into your flashlight.

close-up of batteries

Photo by hilhal2012 on Pexels

We women need 2 batteries to keep us bright. Our “Double A’s” are Appreciation and Affection.

Appreciation can be rare in our world. A 4-year-old is not likely to say to his exhausted Mom, “Gosh Mom, you are doing a good job raising me.” There’s not a lot of appreciation for laundry done, dinner fixed, clothes washed.  It’s a rare husband who says, “Thanks honey for carpooling the kids all over the place today.” Or, “I know you are tired from a stressful week at the office. I understand. I appreciate you.”  Comments like these would do wonders to increase our battery life!

Affection is the second of our batteries that can become depleted.  It’s hard for us women to get excited about sex if we haven’t experienced affection. It can make us feel cheap or used. Simply greeting us with a hug at the end of the day and saying, ”I missed you today,” can help to recharge our battery.  Give us a hug in front of the kids while exclaiming, ”I love this woman,” and you hit the jackpot! A phone call or text message just to say, Hope you are having a good day, can make a huge difference.

So guys, it’s a wise man that asks himself, “Do my wife’s batteries need to be recharged?”

They probably do! Keep a small battery in your pocket as a reminder. (This made such a difference in one friend’s marriage that she handed out batteries at her husband’s memorial service!)

Take steps to recharge your wife’s batteries, but don’t be discouraged if she doesn’t respond right away. Sometimes it takes repeated efforts.

Just persist and we will light up in due time!

If you want to hear me discuss this further, here’s a talk I gave to the men in our church a little while back. Feel free to download and listen! (Just click the 3 dots on the right and you’ll be able to download the audio file.)

“For Men Only: Understanding the Women in your Life!”

Angelika Film Center – Falls Church, VA

Republished on Club31Women

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Hello, I’m Susan.

Susan Alexander Yates

I’m a wife (of more than 50 years), mom to five children (including a set of twins), and grandmother to 21 (including a set of quadruplets!). My favorite time of the year is when all my kids and grandkids are together for a week of “cousins and family camp” in the foothills of the Shenandoah Mountains of Virginia.

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More of our Family Camp fun from Labor Day weekend More of our Family Camp fun from Labor Day weekend. Such a joy! ⁣
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Be sure to check out the blog for more details and pics. (Link in bio or go to susanalexanderyates.com/blog)⁣
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* Poppy (John) is always happy to get help with the horses and the kids love them.⁣
* There's always a competition of some kind going on! Volleyball, a hula hoop contest, a ping-pong tournament. ⁣
* The "ice cream gutter" is a cherished annual tradition!⁣
* Lots of hanging out, and even some quiet moments, but not a lot of sleep. ⁣
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If you want to host a camp or family event of your own, check out my book Cousin Camp for all kinds of ideas. (Link in bio.)⁣
⁣
#christianmom #christianfamily #grandparent #cousincamp #familycamp
One Word: Mystery One Verse: “To them God ch One Word: 
Mystery 
 
One Verse:
“To them God chose to make known how great among the Gentiles are the riches of the glory of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.” Colossians 1:27
 
One Thought:
You are a God of mystery. It’s a glorious mystery. I can’t explain you even though sometimes I want to. Your mystery is part of what makes you so much greater than man. Thank you that you, with all of your glorious mystery, have chosen to dwell in me.
John and I are in Colorado for a week’s vacation John and I are in Colorado for a week’s vacation, still celebrating 54 years of marriage! We had a fun dinner, sharing about folks who have been role models-mentors for us in ministry and family life over these years. It sparked a fun discussion and thankful memories!
We're so grateful we got to host another Family Ca We're so grateful we got to host another Family Camp over Labor Day weekend!⁣
⁣
Here's a peek behind the scenes. I'm sharing all the details (and more pics!) over on the blog, check it out. (Link in bio or go to susanalexanderyates.com/blog)⁣
⁣
1 - We had 33 of us this year!⁣
2 - So much prep and shopping. But I never clean before they come because I learned that's futile. 😜⁣
3 - Lots of cousin bonding.⁣
4 - My daughter-in-law @christenbyates, who's a professional artist, set up an art station this year and the kids loved it.⁣
5 - Cousins with their camp journals. (I keep the journals at my house and they get to write in them every year.)⁣
6 - John led a short teaching time every day, this year on Psalm 139.⁣
7 - Meals are crazy when you're cooking for 33 people!⁣
8 - There are shoes everywhere. 😂 ⁣
9 - The kids actually did dinner cleanup this year, without any prompting! ⁣
10 - A few of our guys.💙⁣
⁣
#christianfamily #cousincamp #familycamp #christianmom #grandparent
One Word: Shows One Verse: “But God shows hi One Word:  Shows
 
One Verse:

“But God shows his love for us in that while we were sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8
 
One Thought:

If you, God Almighty, would send your son to die for me in my own wickedness, then how much more will you show me how to make the decision I need to make.
Cousin love at Family Camp! These are 2 of our you Cousin love at Family Camp! These are 2 of our youngest grands. (We have 21!)

Catch the blog later this week for details and more pics.
This photo of me and John is from our trip to Isra This photo of me and John is from our trip to Israel last fall. When we first got married, I didn't know what being a pastor's wife would entail. Now after more than 50 years of marriage I understand a little better (although I can always learn more!).⁣
⁣
I'm sharing an interview over on my blog with @thegospelcoalition's Front Row Seat series on Supporting Our Husbands.⁣
⁣
We discussed how pastors’ wives can support and encourage their husbands in ministry, marriage, and life. But so much of this applies to any marriage, whether your husband is a pastor or not.⁣
⁣
Check it out -- link in bio, or go to susanalexanderyates.com/blog⁣
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You might want to share it with your pastor's wife -- it will encourage her!⁣
⁣
@kristen_wetherell  @kario312⁣
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#christianwife  #pastorswife  #christianmarriage
One Word: Founder One Verse: “...let us run One Word:  Founder
 
One Verse:

“...let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith." Hebrews 12: 1-2
 
One Thought:

You are the author of my faith. You began it, Father. It is yours. I ask you to be perfecting it. Thank you that even this isn't up to me. My part is to fix my eyes on you and let you do your work within me.
This is how we feel right now -- we finished our A This is how we feel right now -- we finished our Annual Family Camp yesterday!

4 days with 33 kids and grands; 19 teens sleeping on floors and outside, 44 bags of trash, 15 gallons of ice cream, 67 dirty towels, 135 ping pong games, 90 individual miles hiking on the AT, gleaning from Psalm 139, 532 tickles and hugs, and 2 exhausted grandparents--who are deliriously grateful!

More pics coming soon.

* numbers are estimates 😆

Copyright © 2023 · Susan Alexander Yates · All Rights Reserved
Calligraphy by Jessica Blanchard · Paintings by Christen Yates
Blog and Ask Susan Photo by Natalie Puls Photography · Books Photo by Cambria Elizabeth

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