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Susan Alexander Yates

Susan Alexander Yates

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What Every Wife Needs: Two Simple Things to Tell Your Husband!

by Susan Alexander Yates

Hey Ladies, since we’ve just had Valentine’s Day I thought it would be good to look at something that’s been key in our marriage. You might feel like your husband doesn’t understand or meet your needs (and that’s a big topic!).

But here’s the thing — we can be hard to please and hard to understand. It’s part of our mystery! It can be enticing but it can also be very frustrating for our husbands. Pleasing us seems simple — to us. But for them it’s not so clear.

Here’s some encouragement to pass along to the men in your life: your husband, friend, son, etc.

John and I, still having fun after 52 years!

Hey Guys,

For over 52 years I’ve had the privilege of being married to my husband John, and I’ve also had the fun of hanging out with many young couples.  I want to encourage you. I know we wives can be tough to understand and no matter what you do, it hardly ever seems it’s enough!

Recently a friend asked my husband, “After all these years do you understand your wife?   “Understand her—no way,” he laughed. “Enjoy her, yes!”

I want to give you a hint that just might help you in understanding 2 of your wife’s needs. Picture for a moment a flashlight. One that takes 2 “Double A” batteries. Over time it’s easy for these batteries to grow dim. They just get worn down. Sometimes one will go out before the other. Soon the flashlight will begin to flicker and the light will fade. It’s time to recharge, to put new batteries into your flashlight.

close-up of batteries

Photo by hilhal2012 on Pexels

We women need 2 batteries to keep us bright. Our “Double A’s” are Appreciation and Affection.

Appreciation can be rare in our world. A 4-year-old is not likely to say to his exhausted Mom, “Gosh Mom, you are doing a good job raising me.” There’s not a lot of appreciation for laundry done, dinner fixed, clothes washed.  It’s a rare husband who says, “Thanks honey for carpooling the kids all over the place today.” Or, “I know you are tired from a stressful week at the office. I understand. I appreciate you.”  Comments like these would do wonders to increase our battery life!

Affection is the second of our batteries that can become depleted.  It’s hard for us women to get excited about sex if we haven’t experienced affection. It can make us feel cheap or used. Simply greeting us with a hug at the end of the day and saying, ”I missed you today,” can help to recharge our battery.  Give us a hug in front of the kids while exclaiming, ”I love this woman,” and you hit the jackpot! A phone call or text message just to say, Hope you are having a good day, can make a huge difference.

So guys, it’s a wise man that asks himself, “Do my wife’s batteries need to be recharged?”

They probably do! Keep a small battery in your pocket as a reminder. (This made such a difference in one friend’s marriage that she handed out batteries at her husband’s memorial service!)

Take steps to recharge your wife’s batteries, but don’t be discouraged if she doesn’t respond right away. Sometimes it takes repeated efforts.

Just persist and we will light up in due time!

If you want to hear me discuss this further, here’s a talk I gave to the men in our church a little while back. Feel free to download and listen! (Just click the 3 dots on the right and you’ll be able to download the audio file.)

“For Men Only: Understanding the Women in your Life!”

Angelika Film Center – Falls Church, VA

Republished on Club31Women

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Hello, I’m Susan.

Susan Alexander Yates

I’m a wife (of 50 years), mom to five children (including a set of twins), and grandmother to 21 (including a set of quadruplets!). My favorite time of the year is when all my kids and grandkids are together for a week of “cousins and family camp” in the foothills of the Shenandoah Mountains of Virginia.

Read more…

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31 Days Of Prayer For My Child: A Parent’s Guide

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Eleanor and Campbell are learning 5 things they ca Eleanor and Campbell are learning 5 things they can know for sure about God and having fun doing it!

If you want to see what they're learning, check out my blog: 5 Things You Can Be Sure of in a Season of Uncertainty. Link in bio! (Or go to susanalexanderyates.com/blog)

#christianwomen #christianfaith #christianwoman #bedeeplyrooted #womenintheword #shereadstruth #womenoftheword #belovedlife #womenoffaith #gritandvirtue #choosejoy #lampandlight #biblestudy #bibleteaching #biblicaltruth #christianwriter #christianwriters #christianlife  #pursuewhatislovely #christians #sheislight
ONE WORD: New ONE VERSE: “Remember not the for ONE WORD: New
 
ONE VERSE:
“Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert." Isaiah 43: 18-19
 
ONE THOUGHT:
Father, sometimes I get tired of me. Today, I ask you to do something NEW within me. I long to see YOU in new ways. Today I ask that you would give me an expectant heart that looks to you for new things in this season.
We have five children and I have been trying to we We have five children and I have been trying to wear out five Bibles. I am on my fifth and my goal is to have heavily marked and heavily worn Bibles for each one of my children when I am gone. 
I know you can read your Bible on your iPhones but there’s something very special about having a heavily marked Bible to share with your kids and grandkids so I encourage you to use paper Bibles and mark them up when you’re having your own quiet times. Use your cell phones for when you’re stuck in traffic or in an office or carpool line—just a thought.
If there was one word to describe our lives today If there was one word to describe our lives today it might be *uncertainty.*⁣
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We are uncertain about the potential of full-scale wars, economic upheaval, political divisions, racial unrest, school shootings, protest mobs, immigration crises, and the never-ending possibility of a new virus. Big issues which cause angst.⁣
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Closer to home we don’t know about our own finances, our job security, the health of those we love, our concern for a child who has strayed, or the uncertainty of a child’s future as he leaves home for the first time.⁣
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Amid personal and international uncertainty there are *5 things that we can know for sure* -- and I'm sharing them on the blog this week! Link in bio or go to susanalexanderyates.com/blog to check it out!
My grand puppy Opie is a dog of the Word…sort of My grand puppy Opie is a dog of the Word…sort of! 😜
When your child leaves home, beware of falling int When your child leaves home, beware of falling into one of these two extremes:⁣
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A “helicopter parent” is one who is constantly texting, tweeting, emailing her child -- advising on daily activities and many decisions. ⁣
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Although she wants her child to be self confident she is actually undermining her confidence by making too many decisions and this communicates to the child, "You may not make the right decision so I will make it for you." This is not healthy for the child.⁣
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Another trap is that of a “hands off parent.” Her attitude may be, "I raised her to be independent and now she’s gone so I’ll wait until I hear from her. She now is on her own to make decisions." ⁣
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Weeks can go by without any communication. This is too extreme. You need to be involved in major decisions -- rooming, grades, and health. A weekly phone call is a good idea.⁣
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This is just a small piece of what I'm sharing in the blog this week -- 6 things to consider as you Raise Your Child to Leave Well. Check it out! Link in bio.
ONE WORD: Works ONE VERSE: The Lord works righte ONE WORD: Works

ONE VERSE:

The Lord works righteousness and justice for all who are oppressed. 
Psalm 103:6
 
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Even when I can’t see it, you are working while I am waiting.
Nature gives us so many pictures of God! Here’ s Nature gives us so many pictures of God! Here’ s a photo I took last week. 

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Change is in the air whether it’s a job, a gap year or college looming on the horizon. Other parents have kids preparing to go in the fall to middle or high school or even preschool. Time does not stand still. Our kids are growing! And at some time in the future they will be leaving us.⁣
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How well I remember driving away from the dorm after leaving Susy at college. Just the week before we had left Libby, her twin and soul mate, at another college. These were the last of our five children. ⁣
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My husband John had planned a romantic night at a mountain inn on the way home. Not a good decision. Instead, I cried all the way home. My poor husband. It was not just the fact that my last were leaving it was also the pain of their being separated for the first time ever. It had been their decision and it proved to be a wise one in their maturity but at the time all I felt was grief.⁣
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From the time our child is born we know this day will come and part of raising them involves preparing them to leave - as healthy, confident adults. But most of us don’t factor in the sadness it will bring us!⁣
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Some parents coddle their children too much and others give too much freedom too soon. Our challenge is finding the balance. Raising kids who will be ready to leave involves intentional planning at each stage of their development. ⁣
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On the blog this week, I'm sharing 6 things to consider as you Raise Your Child to Leave Well -- check it out! Link in bio.

Copyright © 2022 · Susan Alexander Yates · All Rights Reserved
Calligraphy by Jessica Blanchard · Paintings by Christen Yates
Blog and Ask Susan Photo by Natalie Puls Photography · Books Photo by Cambria Elizabeth

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