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Susan Alexander Yates

Susan Alexander Yates

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What Every Wife Needs: Two Simple Things to Tell Your Husband!

by Susan Alexander Yates

Hey Ladies, since we’ve just had Valentine’s Day I thought it would be good to look at something that’s been key in our marriage. You might feel like your husband doesn’t understand or meet your needs (and that’s a big topic!).

But here’s the thing — we can be hard to please and hard to understand. It’s part of our mystery! It can be enticing but it can also be very frustrating for our husbands. Pleasing us seems simple — to us. But for them it’s not so clear.

Here’s some encouragement to pass along to the men in your life: your husband, friend, son, etc.

John and I, still having fun after 52 years!

Hey Guys,

For over 52 years I’ve had the privilege of being married to my husband John, and I’ve also had the fun of hanging out with many young couples.  I want to encourage you. I know we wives can be tough to understand and no matter what you do, it hardly ever seems it’s enough!

Recently a friend asked my husband, “After all these years do you understand your wife?   “Understand her—no way,” he laughed. “Enjoy her, yes!”

I want to give you a hint that just might help you in understanding 2 of your wife’s needs. Picture for a moment a flashlight. One that takes 2 “Double A” batteries. Over time it’s easy for these batteries to grow dim. They just get worn down. Sometimes one will go out before the other. Soon the flashlight will begin to flicker and the light will fade. It’s time to recharge, to put new batteries into your flashlight.

close-up of batteries

Photo by hilhal2012 on Pexels

We women need 2 batteries to keep us bright. Our “Double A’s” are Appreciation and Affection.

Appreciation can be rare in our world. A 4-year-old is not likely to say to his exhausted Mom, “Gosh Mom, you are doing a good job raising me.” There’s not a lot of appreciation for laundry done, dinner fixed, clothes washed.  It’s a rare husband who says, “Thanks honey for carpooling the kids all over the place today.” Or, “I know you are tired from a stressful week at the office. I understand. I appreciate you.”  Comments like these would do wonders to increase our battery life!

Affection is the second of our batteries that can become depleted.  It’s hard for us women to get excited about sex if we haven’t experienced affection. It can make us feel cheap or used. Simply greeting us with a hug at the end of the day and saying, ”I missed you today,” can help to recharge our battery.  Give us a hug in front of the kids while exclaiming, ”I love this woman,” and you hit the jackpot! A phone call or text message just to say, Hope you are having a good day, can make a huge difference.

So guys, it’s a wise man that asks himself, “Do my wife’s batteries need to be recharged?”

They probably do! Keep a small battery in your pocket as a reminder. (This made such a difference in one friend’s marriage that she handed out batteries at her husband’s memorial service!)

Take steps to recharge your wife’s batteries, but don’t be discouraged if she doesn’t respond right away. Sometimes it takes repeated efforts.

Just persist and we will light up in due time!

If you want to hear me discuss this further, here’s a talk I gave to the men in our church a little while back. Feel free to download and listen! (Just click the 3 dots on the right and you’ll be able to download the audio file.)

“For Men Only: Understanding the Women in your Life!”

Angelika Film Center – Falls Church, VA

Republished on Club31Women

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Hello, I’m Susan.

Susan Alexander Yates

I’m a wife (of more than 50 years), mom to five children (including a set of twins), and grandmother to 21 (including a set of quadruplets!). My favorite time of the year is when all my kids and grandkids are together for a week of “cousins and family camp” in the foothills of the Shenandoah Mountains of Virginia.

Read more…

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One Word: Warrior One Verse: “The Lord is a One Word:  Warrior 
 
One Verse:

“The Lord is a warrior; the Lord is His name." Exodus 15:3
 
One Thought:

Lord, it is good for me to be reminded that you are a warrior. You are not a pushover, or weak. You are mighty. You fight for me. You defend me. You have my back. You are for me.
One morning recently I watched my dog, Charley, wa One morning recently I watched my dog, Charley, watch me. He noticed my every move. If I looked him in the eye he would hop up and come to me. If I moved he would follow me. He listens for my voice. His greatest joy is for me to communicate with him, to pay attention to him. He loves me unconditionally, even if I’m having a bad day, blown it with a family member or friend, or still have on my smelly sweats! Watching him watch me I think about how he reflects God. Our heavenly Father watches over me. He waits for me to notice Him. He takes great joy when I call out to Him. He loves me no matter what.

“Father thank you for Charley and for using him to remind me how much You rejoice when I pay attention to You. At this moment, You are waiting patiently for me.”
These are my two 8th grade granddaughters (cousins These are my two 8th grade granddaughters (cousins). Last time they were in town we went thrift shopping, and they found a single pair of pajamas that they could both fit into at one time, lol!⁣
⁣
I've been thinking about them a lot lately as I just discovered my old 8th grade diary, which is hysterical. One of the main things I discovered is that even though so much has changed in the many years since I was in 8th grade, there are still lots of things that are the same.⁣
⁣
Read some excerpts and get insights for parenting middle school kids in my blog, "Help for Parents of Middle School Kids: Insights From My 8th Grade Diary."⁣
⁣
Link in bio or go to susanalexanderyates.com/blog
One Word: Sustains One Verse: “Surely God is One Word: Sustains 
 
One Verse:

“Surely God is my help. The Lord is the one who sustains me." Psalm 54:4
 
One Thought:

Father, you sustain me in the tediousness of drudgery or the extreme challenges of life. Whatever I fear - you are sustaining me, my friend, my child. It is your joy to do so!
Getting ready for Holy Week: One of my favorite re Getting ready for Holy Week: One of my favorite reads! I read this every couple of years to prepare for Easter.
Recently I found the most hilarious thing — a di Recently I found the most hilarious thing — a diary I kept when I was in 8th grade! (Swipe right to see a photo of me with my siblings from around that time.)⁣
⁣
Here are a couple excerpts:⁣
⁣
“I’m afraid I’m beginning to like Jimmy but I don’t want to because I really hate him.”⁣
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"Nothing much happened today. Linda and I are real pals now and don’t like Becky. She’s bossy and conceited.”⁣
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"I am a complete failure. I must remember that popularity isn’t everything.”⁣
⁣
I'm still laughing as I read it. But it actually gave me some insights that are helpful with my two 8th grade granddaughters -- and insights you may appreciate if you're the parent of a middle schooler. ⁣
⁣
Get the full scoop on my blog -- link in profile or go to susanalexanderyates.com/blog
One Word: Understands One Verse: “Great is o One Word:  Understands
 
One Verse:

“Great is our Lord and abundant in power; his understanding is beyond measure." Psalm 147:5
 
One Thought:

When no one else can understand me or my situation, you do completely, O Lord.
I had the best time recently with the Women from A I had the best time recently with the Women from Apostles Anglican Church in Houston! Our retreat was held at the lovely Hill House in the countryside. We were spoiled by incredible food, restored by the bucolic scenery, and spiritually fed by rich fellowship. Thank you Langley and these wonderful women!

 @apostleshouston  @historichillhouse
This is so important to remember when we're strugg This is so important to remember when we're struggling with our family relationships: God created family.⁣
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It was His idea. In the beginning He was part of a family -- Father God, His Son Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. But that wasn’t enough, so they created man, Adam. Then God said it was not good for man to be alone, so He created Eve as a wife for Adam.⁣
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Through their disobedience sin entered family units. Even so God did not give up on family. Family has continued ever since.⁣
⁣
Family has a broad meaning. We usually think of family as a dad, mom, and kids. But throughout both the Old and New Testaments we see family described as large tribes, small units, particularly the family of the church. A family might include singles as well as married people, young people, and old people.⁣
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God knows that we are not meant to be alone. We need one another. The big concept here can be summarized in a single word: together.⁣
⁣
But that doesn't mean family is easy! It can be incredibly difficult at times. If you're looking for hope or help with your family relationships, check out my blog this week: "Family Can Be Hard: How to Handle Painful Family Relationships."⁣
⁣
Link in bio or go to  susanalexanderyates.com/blog

Copyright © 2023 · Susan Alexander Yates · All Rights Reserved
Calligraphy by Jessica Blanchard · Paintings by Christen Yates
Blog and Ask Susan Photo by Natalie Puls Photography · Books Photo by Cambria Elizabeth

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