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Susan Alexander Yates

Susan Alexander Yates

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Does Your Marriage Feel Stale? Here are 4 Ways to Revitalize Your Relationship

by Susan Alexander Yates

Marriage can be hard! This week I’m blogging over at Club 31 about how to refresh your relationship. Here’s an excerpt.

Do you feel stale in your marriage? Or stuck or bored or discouraged, or maybe just a little bit antsy? 

If we’re honest, we who are married have all felt this way at different times, even if our marriage is strong. Just as there are seasons in nature, there are seasons in marriage.

While a newlywed season might be blissful, reality will hit. Real-life is not all bliss. Infertility, job loss, financial pressure, health issues, personality conflicts, and wounds from the past will pop up at some point. We may be overwhelmed by toddlers, stressed by prodigal teenagers, or dreading the empty nest.  

married couple holding hands walking through snowy woods

Every Marriage Has Its Seasons

It is helpful to view life in terms of seasons. Each season will bring blessings unique to that season, but each will also have challenges. We must learn to articulate the challenges-be honest about them- but then choose to focus on the blessings.  

Marriage has a way of revealing to us just how selfish we are. Life is no longer about me. We are now an us. And each one of us is, by nature, a self-centered, selfish human being. Make me happy. Meet my needs. Cater to me. 

At marriage conferences in which we have spoken, we ask each couple to turn and face their spouse and say, “You are married to a very selfish person.” This often produces laughter and hopefully a little more reality!

Growing in marriage involves recognizing our sinful nature, asking forgiveness, and believing in God’s power to change and mold us together. 

Marriage takes work-whether you’ve been married six months or 60 years. And just like most things, marriage needs continual refreshment. It’s all too easy to get lazy in marriage. Marriages are either growing or declining. They cannot remain the status quo.

Click here to finish reading: 4 Ways to Refresh Your Dreary Marriage in This New Year

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January 19, 2022 · Leave a Comment

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Hello, I’m Susan.

Susan Alexander Yates

I’m a wife (of 50 years), mom to five children (including a set of twins), and grandmother to 21 (including a set of quadruplets!). My favorite time of the year is when all my kids and grandkids are together for a week of “cousins and family camp” in the foothills of the Shenandoah Mountains of Virginia.

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31 Days Of Prayer For My Child: A Parent’s Guide

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Eleanor and Campbell are learning 5 things they ca Eleanor and Campbell are learning 5 things they can know for sure about God and having fun doing it!

If you want to see what they're learning, check out my blog: 5 Things You Can Be Sure of in a Season of Uncertainty. Link in bio! (Or go to susanalexanderyates.com/blog)

#christianwomen #christianfaith #christianwoman #bedeeplyrooted #womenintheword #shereadstruth #womenoftheword #belovedlife #womenoffaith #gritandvirtue #choosejoy #lampandlight #biblestudy #bibleteaching #biblicaltruth #christianwriter #christianwriters #christianlife  #pursuewhatislovely #christians #sheislight
ONE WORD: New ONE VERSE: “Remember not the for ONE WORD: New
 
ONE VERSE:
“Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert." Isaiah 43: 18-19
 
ONE THOUGHT:
Father, sometimes I get tired of me. Today, I ask you to do something NEW within me. I long to see YOU in new ways. Today I ask that you would give me an expectant heart that looks to you for new things in this season.
We have five children and I have been trying to we We have five children and I have been trying to wear out five Bibles. I am on my fifth and my goal is to have heavily marked and heavily worn Bibles for each one of my children when I am gone. 
I know you can read your Bible on your iPhones but there’s something very special about having a heavily marked Bible to share with your kids and grandkids so I encourage you to use paper Bibles and mark them up when you’re having your own quiet times. Use your cell phones for when you’re stuck in traffic or in an office or carpool line—just a thought.
If there was one word to describe our lives today If there was one word to describe our lives today it might be *uncertainty.*⁣
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We are uncertain about the potential of full-scale wars, economic upheaval, political divisions, racial unrest, school shootings, protest mobs, immigration crises, and the never-ending possibility of a new virus. Big issues which cause angst.⁣
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Closer to home we don’t know about our own finances, our job security, the health of those we love, our concern for a child who has strayed, or the uncertainty of a child’s future as he leaves home for the first time.⁣
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Uncertainty can cause us or our children to fear. To imagine the worst. To look for control that we do not have. To wonder if anyone understands.⁣
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We long for a sense of security, for something to hold onto. And so do our children.⁣
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Amid personal and international uncertainty there are *5 things that we can know for sure* -- and I'm sharing them on the blog this week! Link in bio or go to susanalexanderyates.com/blog to check it out!
My grand puppy Opie is a dog of the Word…sort of My grand puppy Opie is a dog of the Word…sort of! 😜
When your child leaves home, beware of falling int When your child leaves home, beware of falling into one of these two extremes:⁣
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A “helicopter parent” is one who is constantly texting, tweeting, emailing her child -- advising on daily activities and many decisions. ⁣
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Although she wants her child to be self confident she is actually undermining her confidence by making too many decisions and this communicates to the child, "You may not make the right decision so I will make it for you." This is not healthy for the child.⁣
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Another trap is that of a “hands off parent.” Her attitude may be, "I raised her to be independent and now she’s gone so I’ll wait until I hear from her. She now is on her own to make decisions." ⁣
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Weeks can go by without any communication. This is too extreme. You need to be involved in major decisions -- rooming, grades, and health. A weekly phone call is a good idea.⁣
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This is just a small piece of what I'm sharing in the blog this week -- 6 things to consider as you Raise Your Child to Leave Well. Check it out! Link in bio.
ONE WORD: Works ONE VERSE: The Lord works righte ONE WORD: Works

ONE VERSE:

The Lord works righteousness and justice for all who are oppressed. 
Psalm 103:6
 
ONE THOUGHT:

Even when I can’t see it, you are working while I am waiting.
Nature gives us so many pictures of God! Here’ s Nature gives us so many pictures of God! Here’ s a photo I took last week. 

Spring? Maybe not! We must persevere!            

“Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.” Hebrews 12:1-2
As college acceptances and denials arrive we are a As college acceptances and denials arrive we are a mix of emotions. And so is our senior!⁣
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Change is in the air whether it’s a job, a gap year or college looming on the horizon. Other parents have kids preparing to go in the fall to middle or high school or even preschool. Time does not stand still. Our kids are growing! And at some time in the future they will be leaving us.⁣
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How well I remember driving away from the dorm after leaving Susy at college. Just the week before we had left Libby, her twin and soul mate, at another college. These were the last of our five children. ⁣
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My husband John had planned a romantic night at a mountain inn on the way home. Not a good decision. Instead, I cried all the way home. My poor husband. It was not just the fact that my last were leaving it was also the pain of their being separated for the first time ever. It had been their decision and it proved to be a wise one in their maturity but at the time all I felt was grief.⁣
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From the time our child is born we know this day will come and part of raising them involves preparing them to leave - as healthy, confident adults. But most of us don’t factor in the sadness it will bring us!⁣
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Some parents coddle their children too much and others give too much freedom too soon. Our challenge is finding the balance. Raising kids who will be ready to leave involves intentional planning at each stage of their development. ⁣
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On the blog this week, I'm sharing 6 things to consider as you Raise Your Child to Leave Well -- check it out! Link in bio.

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Blog and Ask Susan Photo by Natalie Puls Photography · Books Photo by Cambria Elizabeth

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