Marriage can be hard! This week I’m blogging over at Club 31 about how to refresh your relationship. Here’s an excerpt.
Do you feel stale in your marriage? Or stuck or bored or discouraged, or maybe just a little bit antsy?
If we’re honest, we who are married have all felt this way at different times, even if our marriage is strong. Just as there are seasons in nature, there are seasons in marriage.
While a newlywed season might be blissful, reality will hit. Real-life is not all bliss. Infertility, job loss, financial pressure, health issues, personality conflicts, and wounds from the past will pop up at some point. We may be overwhelmed by toddlers, stressed by prodigal teenagers, or dreading the empty nest.
Every Marriage Has Its Seasons
It is helpful to view life in terms of seasons. Each season will bring blessings unique to that season, but each will also have challenges. We must learn to articulate the challenges-be honest about them- but then choose to focus on the blessings.
Marriage has a way of revealing to us just how selfish we are. Life is no longer about me. We are now an us. And each one of us is, by nature, a self-centered, selfish human being. Make me happy. Meet my needs. Cater to me.
At marriage conferences in which we have spoken, we ask each couple to turn and face their spouse and say, “You are married to a very selfish person.” This often produces laughter and hopefully a little more reality!
Growing in marriage involves recognizing our sinful nature, asking forgiveness, and believing in God’s power to change and mold us together.
Marriage takes work-whether you’ve been married six months or 60 years. And just like most things, marriage needs continual refreshment. It’s all too easy to get lazy in marriage. Marriages are either growing or declining. They cannot remain the status quo.