• About
  • Books
  • One Word
  • Cousin Camp
  • Speaking
  • Audio
  • Blog
    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • Pinterest
    • Twitter
    • YouTube
Susan Alexander Yates

Susan Alexander Yates

Wisdom for Every Season

  • Character
  • Faith
  • Family
  • Seasons
  • Marriage
  • Parenting
  • Cousin Camp
  • Ask Susan

Why Thank-You Notes Matter

by Susan Alexander Yates

It’s that time of the year… Do you struggle to get your kids to write thank-you notes?

The late legendary advice columnist, Ann Landers, once said that the majority of the letters she received fell into two categories—agony from a writer whose spouse was having an affair or sadness from a grandparent who never received thank-you notes from grandchildren.

Some thank-you notes and pictures taped up on a laundry room wall.

I keep some of my favorite thank-you notes taped up in my laundry room. I love seeing them while I’m working!

Alas, the art of writing thank-you notes does seem to have decreased in today’s culture. And yet this is an important discipline we need to practice and to teach our kids. Why?

It is a character trait.

Thank-you notes teach us to honor and appreciate others. They serve to keep us from taking others for granted. They help to protect our kids from an ever-encroaching sense of entitlement. Our culture cries out, ”please me, satisfy me, make me happy.”  Thank-you notes are one tiny discipline to train us in appreciating others. And the art of appreciation will go a long way in marriage.

We live in the Washington DC area where folks here are incredibly busy and often self-focused. Yet, one thing I’ve noticed: They write thank-you notes–for interviews, for luncheons, for a favor done, for a gift received. From the most well-known to the least noticed, one often receives a note. It’s expected. And it’s a good thing.

Our church has an intern program for post-college grads and every year when our interns arrive, my husband gives each one of them a gift of personalized cards and explains to them the importance of writing thank-you notes. Some have grown up writing them, others have never written a single one. But they need to learn–it’s a character trait.

A laundry room with thank-you notes and photos taped to the wall.

You might want to keep some of your favorites, too!

Do we like to write thank you notes? Not usually. Do our kids? No. But it’s our job as parents to train them to write them anyway. Provide the stationery. Set a deadline by which all thank-you notes must be written or privileges (the car, TV, computer, etc.) will be withheld until they are finished. And then follow through.

Yes, your kids will complain. That’s their job! But do it anyway. You are training them in thoughtfulness and respect–two crucial character traits they will need for life.

Little kids can color a picture and dictate words. Bigger kids can write brief notes. Yes, they could email or text. However a handwritten note will mean a lot more to the recipient. It shows thought and time.

Plan a thank-you note party at your kitchen table, complete with refreshments and music. This gets everyone involved and makes this task more enjoyable.

So you haven’t finished your Christmas thank-you notes? I haven’t either. I need to get out all the left over goodies, put on some good music and have a party!

 

Save this post on Pinterest:

Share84
Pin13
Tweet
Email
Print
97Shares
Share84
Share
Pin
Text
97Shares

You may also enjoy...

Character, Parenting
January 4, 2023 · 11 Comments

« He’s More Than a Baby in a Manger: Jesus, Our Living God
Good News: Growing as a Christian is Not About Trying Harder »

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Comments

  1. Rosemary Kromidas Hendrix says

    December 31, 2016 at 11:56 pm

    I love thank you notes! I taught my children the importance of writing notes of thanks, I bought my grandchildren books of manners, which included thank you notes. I am saddened that they never wrote the notes and neither do my great-grands…oh well, I suppose they are too busy playing with their iPad.

    Reply
    • Susan Yates says

      January 1, 2017 at 4:39 pm

      I’m sad too. Just pray that one day someone they admire (an employer, etc.) will tell them how important it is!
      Thanks, Susan

      Reply
  2. Libby Borders says

    December 31, 2016 at 1:23 pm

    Great article and I so agree! However, I think “stationary” in this article should have been spelled “stationery”.

    Reply
    • Gretchen Rockenfield says

      December 31, 2016 at 2:42 pm

      You are absolutely correct. Think paper ending in “er” just like stationery.

      Reply
    • Susan Yates says

      January 1, 2017 at 4:33 pm

      Libby,
      Thanks so much! We’ll fix it!!!
      I appreciate the heads up.
      Susan

      Reply
  3. Carrie Canon says

    December 29, 2016 at 3:28 pm

    I agree wholeheartedly! However, did you know schools are no longer teaching cursive handwriting? I recently discovered this while helping my niece with HS graduation thank you notes. Hers looked horrible in childlike letters. I hope they bring back cursive writing soon!

    Reply
    • Susan Yates says

      January 1, 2017 at 4:38 pm

      Carrie,
      This is sad! You are so right. Well, at least they can send a thoughtful email with more than one or two sentences!
      Blessings, Susan

      Reply
  4. Kiersten Hansen says

    December 28, 2016 at 7:17 pm

    Susan,

    One of the things that has always stood out to me about Libby & McLean is they are so THANKFUL!! They would thank me and everyone else for even the smallest things. Your legacy has impacted me! So thank YOU for that!

    Reply
    • Susan Yates says

      January 1, 2017 at 4:31 pm

      Kiersten,
      Thank you so much. You have blessed my family in so many ways!
      Love, Susan

      Reply
  5. Sandra Hawkins says

    December 28, 2016 at 6:07 pm

    Thanks Susan. I needed that reminder! ?

    Reply
    • Susan Yates says

      January 1, 2017 at 4:30 pm

      Thanks so much for commenting Sandra.
      Blessings Susan

      Reply

Hello, I’m Susan.

Susan Alexander Yates

I’m a wife (of more than 50 years), mom to five children (including a set of twins), and grandmother to 21 (including a set of quadruplets!). My favorite time of the year is when all my kids and grandkids are together for a week of “cousins and family camp” in the foothills of the Shenandoah Mountains of Virginia.

Read more…

Recent Posts

  • 10 Questions to Ask Yourself When You Need to Make a Hard Decision
  • Celebrate! Your Recipe for a One-Day Summer Gratitude Extravaganza
  • Feeling Afraid? Remembering God’s Faithfulness Will Help
  • Our Weeping, Suffering Savior: Why This Matters to Me & You
  • How God’s Creation Comforts and Restores Me

One Word

One Word: Sufficient

Featured Books

And Then I Had Kids: Encouragement for Mothers of Young Children

And Then I Had Kids: Encouragement for Mothers of Young Children
Buy This Book Online
Buy from Amazon
Buy from Audible.com
And Then I Had Kids: Encouragement for Mothers of Young Children
Buy now!

Character Matters: Raising Kids With Values That Last

Character Matters: Raising Kids With Values That Last
Buy This Book Online
Buy from Amazon
Character Matters: Raising Kids With Values That Last
Buy now!
  • Certainty In Christ
  • Subscribe
  • Contact
  • Media Kit
  • Privacy Policy
  • Site Index

Search

Character Matters: Raising Kids With Values That Last

Character Matters: Raising Kids With Values That Last
Buy This Book Online
Buy from Amazon
Character Matters: Raising Kids With Values That Last
Buy now!

Popular

  • Our Best Advice for Your Marriage: What We’ve…
  • What’s the big deal about a donkey?
  • How Do You Do It? (Questions for a Mom of Quads)

One Word: Saves One Verse: “The saying is tr One Word:  Saves
 
One Verse:

“The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost." 1 Timothy 1:15
 
One Thought:

Father, I am a sinner. Thank you for saving me once and for all. Help ______ to come to realize that you want to save him (or her) as well. Your nature is to save. Your love compels it. You cannot help it. You sent Jesus to redeem each one of us.
On a walk the other day I noticed beautiful Iris p On a walk the other day I noticed beautiful Iris plants beginning to bloom. They were surrounded by plants I didn't recognized except that I know some were weeds. 

This metaphor came to mind: ‘Our lives have both beauty and weeds mixed together. It’s easy to focus on the weeds (illnesses, hurtful relationships, a difficult decision, a longing unfulfilled), however it’s healthier to focus on the beauty. 

And if we don’t know what is a weed or a possible plant God knows. He will reveal them to us when we need to know and what we discover may surprise us. It helps to remember that HE is in the midst of whatever we are experiencing.
I have a gift for you this week! In my blog, I'm s I have a gift for you this week! In my blog, I'm sharing 10 questions to ask yourself when you're trying to make a hard decision. ⁣
⁣
We all struggle with decision-making! Especially when it's not a clear moral choice between right and wrong.⁣
⁣
Some years ago, my pastor husband John came up with this list of 10 questions to help make decisions. I'm sharing them on the blog, and my friend, artist Jess Blanchard @jessblanchardstudio turned them into a gorgeous bookmark you can download for free.⁣
⁣
You might want to laminate it and keep it in your Bible. I hope it's a blessing to you.⁣
⁣
Read the blog and download the bookmark -- link in bio, or go to susanalexanderyates.com/blog
One Word: Holds One Verse: “Nevertheless, I One Word:  Holds
 
One Verse:

“Nevertheless, I am continually with you; you hold my right hand." Psalm 73:23
 
One Thought:

Dear God, help me to remember all day today that you are holding my hand. You never let go.
I just got back from a quick trip to Chicago with I just got back from a quick trip to Chicago with two friends (Barbara Rainey and Joanne Thompson) to hear poet Malcolm Guite @uitemalcolm3774 lecture and to visit the Lilias Trotter collection at Wheaton College. We got to read her journals and hold her precious art. She was an artist in the late 1800’s who gave up a promising career to go to Algeria for the next 20 years to minister to poor women. @laurawatershinson has produced a movie about her called Many Beautiful Things. (It's wonderful! Look it up if you haven't seen it.) #manybeautifulthingsmovie 

We were inspired by both of these people. It was wonderfully refreshing to get out of our own worlds and away from ”our stuff” and focus on something completely “other!” We all need to do this😊
This verse from Psalm 105 speaks to me. How easy i This verse from Psalm 105 speaks to me. How easy it is to forget -- rather than to remember -- what He has done. Or to focus on all the crises around me. It’s easy to lose perspective on life and on what God is doing. ⁣
⁣
Setting aside a specific day this summer for celebrating God's faithfulness will restore our PERSPECTIVE.⁣
⁣
I'm sharing ideas in my blog you might want to use to put together a summer gratitude extravaganza of your own!  I hope you'll check it out.⁣
⁣
Link in bio, or go to susanalexanderyates.com/blog⁣
⁣
Let us remember the wonders He has done!
One Word: Mighty One Verse: “O Lord God of h One Word:  Mighty
 
One Verse:

“O Lord God of hosts, who is mighty as you are, O Lord, with your faithfulness all around you?" Psalm 89:9
 
One Thought:

Father, too often I forget that you are mighty. I unknowingly assign to you my own weakness without even realizing it. Forgive me. I want to dwell on your mighty power today. Your might levels mountains, raises seas, heals diseases, changes hearts and creates a complex human body. When I focus on your might my perspective is restored.
@jodie_berndt’s new book, Praying the Scriptures @jodie_berndt’s new book, Praying the Scriptures for your Marriage, is the #1 book I would recommend on marriage.

Written with her husband Robbie, it’s honest, funny and very practical. Her down to earth style will make you feel normal with the challenges we all face in marriage, but she doesn’t leave us there. She provides us with tips for communication, relevant scriptures, and samples of specific prayers to pray for your marriage. Get a copy for yourself and several for wedding gifts or anniversary presents!

We’ve been married 53 years and this book is so good for us!

Thank you Jodie!
A craft table at the farm with some of our budding A craft table at the farm with some of our budding artists (grandchildren). ⁣
⁣
I have an idea for you: Let's put on our calendars now a SUMMER CELEBRATION DAY!⁣
⁣
The purpose? To set aside one whole day to recount God’s faithfulness with thanksgiving. This simple act can lead to a day of praise and worship and a closeness with others as we share His goodness together.⁣
⁣
There are so many ways you can do this! On your own, on a day-long (or hour-long) retreat. With your immediate or extended family. With church friends. ⁣
⁣
Out in a park or inside on a rainy day. With a craft table like ours or with music or food or sports -- or all of the above!⁣
⁣
I'm sharing lots of ideas in this week's blog: Celebrate! Your Recipe for a One-Day Summer Gratitude Extravaganza  Link in bio or go to susanalexanderyates.com/blog⁣
⁣
I hope you'll plan something and I'd love to hear what you do!

Copyright © 2023 · Susan Alexander Yates · All Rights Reserved
Calligraphy by Jessica Blanchard · Paintings by Christen Yates
Blog and Ask Susan Photo by Natalie Puls Photography · Books Photo by Cambria Elizabeth

97Shares
97Shares
We use cookies to ensure that we give you the best experience on our website. If you continue to use this site we will assume that you are happy with it.OkayPrivacy Policy