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Susan Alexander Yates

Susan Alexander Yates

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Tongue Control

by Susan Alexander Yates

Lately I’ve been thinking about my tongue and how hard it is to control! This is nothing new for me. When I was young and my words often got me into trouble my Mom would say, “Susan it’s not what you are saying it’s how you are saying it.” My husband has often mentioned the same thing to me so I know it’s a legitimate criticism. It’s so easy for me to come across as bossy, arrogant, or critical without even realizing it.

When we were kids ourselves we learned the rhyme, “Sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me. “ Nothing could be further from the truth. Words hurt, words are remembered, and words are hard to take back. This is true no matter how old we are.

Since our own children are now adults we realize even more how important our words are and how careful we need to be in what we say and how we say it.  This becomes even more crucial when we have in-law children. During this season we are also learning that it’s more important simply to listen than to offer advice. And that’s hard. After all we’ve spent most of our life advising and directing our kids.

This week I read Proverbs 16. This one Proverb has enough on the use of words to make anyone pause.

“The wise in heart are called discerning, and pleasant words promote instruction. A wise man’s heart guides his mouth and his lips promote instruction.  Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” (Proverbs 16: 21, 23-24)

Oh how I want my words to be sweet and healing.

The screen saver on my computer is a photo of a beautiful mountain set behind a gently curving rural road and the white steeple of a small church. Across the top I have written:

“May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.” (Psalm 19:14)

This is a good prayer for me to pray every time I turn on my computer!

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July 12, 2017 · 11 Comments

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  1. Caroline Memery says

    July 27, 2017 at 9:50 pm

    Susan, thank you again for sharing from your heart,,.your honesty is such a gift to the body of Christ. Please keep my daughter Jennifer in your prayers as I shared at the St, Francis retreat she has gone through a devistating divorce and is now struggling with alcohol addiction…she is getting help but is struggling. Thank you for all the books you have written and wisdom given. They are such a blessing to many. With love and prayers, Carolie Memery

    Reply
  2. Rose-Marie Edwards-Tasker says

    July 22, 2017 at 12:19 pm

    Often times the attitude of my heart is not reflected in my voice, the tone of my words, unfortunately, I say this
    in hindsight! Before I begin when I speak in public I pray Psalm 19:14. I may copy your screen saver with the
    same words. An important way to start every day! Grateful!

    Reply
  3. Mary Harris says

    July 20, 2017 at 8:17 pm

    Dear Susan you are describing me so thank you for the reminder of listening and not offering advice.

    Reply
  4. Jana says

    July 20, 2017 at 6:31 am

    I needed this tonight. Thank you.

    Reply
    • Susan Yates says

      July 20, 2017 at 3:47 pm

      We all do–most every day at every age! You are not alone!
      Blessings, Susan

      Reply
  5. Amy says

    July 20, 2017 at 3:02 am

    “Pleasant words promote instruction…” what encouragement your article brings to this Mom of four young children. Thank you for reminding me that how I say things makes the message more useful! I am grateful for your wise words!!

    Reply
    • Susan Yates says

      July 20, 2017 at 3:46 pm

      Thanks so much Amy!
      Blessings, Susan

      Reply
  6. Lynda and Johnny McConnell says

    July 19, 2017 at 9:20 pm

    Thanks so much Susan. I need to have these thoughts every day. Johnny McConnell Age 77

    Reply
    • Susan Yates says

      July 20, 2017 at 3:46 pm

      Don’t we all Johnny. And you’ll always be 38 in my view!
      Love, susan

      Reply
  7. Ruthie McIntosh says

    July 12, 2017 at 6:04 pm

    Love this message!

    Reply
    • Susan Yates says

      July 12, 2017 at 8:41 pm

      Thanks so much Ruthie! I needed it myself:)
      love, susan

      Reply

Hello, I’m Susan.

Susan Alexander Yates

I’m a wife (of more than 50 years), mom to five children (including a set of twins), and grandmother to 21 (including a set of quadruplets!). My favorite time of the year is when all my kids and grandkids are together for a week of “cousins and family camp” in the foothills of the Shenandoah Mountains of Virginia.

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