Lately I’ve been thinking about my tongue and how hard it is to control! This is nothing new for me. When I was young and my words often got me into trouble my Mom would say, “Susan it’s not what you are saying it’s how you are saying it.” My husband has often mentioned the same thing to me so I know it’s a legitimate criticism. It’s so easy for me to come across as bossy, arrogant, or critical without even realizing it.
When we were kids ourselves we learned the rhyme, “Sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me. “ Nothing could be further from the truth. Words hurt, words are remembered, and words are hard to take back. This is true no matter how old we are.
Since our own children are now adults we realize even more how important our words are and how careful we need to be in what we say and how we say it. This becomes even more crucial when we have in-law children. During this season we are also learning that it’s more important simply to listen than to offer advice. And that’s hard. After all we’ve spent most of our life advising and directing our kids.
This week I read Proverbs 16. This one Proverb has enough on the use of words to make anyone pause.
“The wise in heart are called discerning, and pleasant words promote instruction. A wise man’s heart guides his mouth and his lips promote instruction. Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” (Proverbs 16: 21, 23-24)
Oh how I want my words to be sweet and healing.
The screen saver on my computer is a photo of a beautiful mountain set behind a gently curving rural road and the white steeple of a small church. Across the top I have written:
“May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.” (Psalm 19:14)
This is a good prayer for me to pray every time I turn on my computer!
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Susan, thank you again for sharing from your heart,,.your honesty is such a gift to the body of Christ. Please keep my daughter Jennifer in your prayers as I shared at the St, Francis retreat she has gone through a devistating divorce and is now struggling with alcohol addiction…she is getting help but is struggling. Thank you for all the books you have written and wisdom given. They are such a blessing to many. With love and prayers, Carolie Memery
Often times the attitude of my heart is not reflected in my voice, the tone of my words, unfortunately, I say this
in hindsight! Before I begin when I speak in public I pray Psalm 19:14. I may copy your screen saver with the
same words. An important way to start every day! Grateful!
Dear Susan you are describing me so thank you for the reminder of listening and not offering advice.
I needed this tonight. Thank you.
We all do–most every day at every age! You are not alone!
Blessings, Susan
“Pleasant words promote instruction…” what encouragement your article brings to this Mom of four young children. Thank you for reminding me that how I say things makes the message more useful! I am grateful for your wise words!!
Thanks so much Amy!
Blessings, Susan
Thanks so much Susan. I need to have these thoughts every day. Johnny McConnell Age 77
Don’t we all Johnny. And you’ll always be 38 in my view!
Love, susan
Love this message!
Thanks so much Ruthie! I needed it myself:)
love, susan