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Susan Alexander Yates

Susan Alexander Yates

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How to Pray for Your Kids and All the Challenges They Face this Fall

by Susan Alexander Yates

We are walking into a new school year in which our kids are facing many unusual challenges. Covid has impacted each of us in different ways. And now the variant brings even more consternation. Mental health professionals are overwhelmed with clients, kids are depressed, parents fearful.

Dissension over masks or no masks, shots or no shots has caused heart-breaking division between  friends and family members. Uncertainty looms over the future and we don’t like uncertainty. 

two schoolchildren carrying backpacks and wearing masks

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

While life has always been uncertain, this fall seems especially so. It’s difficult to make plans. Our careers are in flux, schools change policies each week, finances are tight and family members are sick. World news is depressing.

Crisis after crisis, we wonder, what will happen next? It’s scary.

2 Things Will Be Helpful for Your Family in this Season:

1. Remember God

It helps to remind ourselves and our kids of several truths:

God is still in charge. He reigns. (1 Chronicles 16:31)

He does not change. (Hebrews 13:8)

He knows everything that is going on, every detail, even the things we don’t know. (Psalm 139:1-24)

He is light and in Him there is no darkness at all. (1 John 1:5)

He will bring us through this. (Habakkuk 2:19, Luke 1:37)

He is good. Psalm (Psalm 34:8)

He will never ever leave us or our kids.  (Joshua 1:5, Hebrews 13:5.)

2. Make a specific prayer plan for your family

Amid so many challenges we may not even know how to pray. Likely we feel stuck, unmotivated. After all, we are just trying to make it through one more day. One of the things we need now is a fresh vision for this time. Something that will bring a little clarity into our lives. We need a plan.

Years ago John and I began a tradition early in the school year of praying together for our children that helped us move into the fall with vision, unity, and clarity in how to parent our five kids. We designated a block of time alone to discuss each of our kids in five areas of growth: spiritual, emotional, mental, physical, and social.

We asked ourselves questions like:

  • How is this child doing spiritually? Can we begin to encourage personal Bible reading or teach him how to keep a personal prayer list? (spiritual)
  • Does a child need more discipline in study habits?  How can we ensure this happens? (mental)
  • Does one child need a close friend? (social)
  • How about better eating habits or exercise? (physical)
  • Is there a particular child that we feel isn’t getting enough attention from us or is struggling with his self-image? (emotional)

As we talked about each child, we wrote down what we perceived to be their needs for the coming year and any goals that we might have. These lists became our individual prayer lists for each child. 

The children did not know what we were praying.

One of the surprising blessings of this tradition was its impact on our marriage. 

Simply taking time to discuss each child together enabled us to be on the same page with regard to that child. One of us often articulated something about a child the other had not noticed. Because you have likely had more time together as a family during this pandemic season, you may both feel more in touch with your children’s needs. 

As the mom, I found this drew me closer to John because it was easy to feel like “I do the kids and he does work.” I know that’s not true, but sometimes it sure did feel like it!  This exercise always made me feel more like we were partners in parenting.  After we discussed each child, we spent time praying together for that specific child’s needs.

a bunch of pumpkins, orange, green, and white

Photo by Kerstin Wrba on Unsplash

The year our son Chris was 11, I felt that an emotional need for him was to “feel special.” He was caught in the middle of four siblings, and I was concerned that he needed to be assured of how special he was. And so we began to pray that he would feel special.

Halfway through the year he had an accident and fractured his skull. His brain was swelling, and the neurosurgeon really did not know how things would turn out. We were in the hospital for two weeks.

On the first day John and I began to pray that God would use this for good in our lives and particularly in Chris’s life. Once he regained consciousness, we shared Romans 8:28 with him and prayed together. During the hospital stay, many people sent cards, came and visited, and prayed for him. We covered the walls of his hospital room with these love notes.

Just before he was released I asked, “Chris, can you think of any way God has used this for good in your life yet?”

As he looked at the walls of his room covered with cards, he responded, “Wow, Mom, I didn’t know how special I was.”

Yes, God answers our prayers!

(Chris had no idea what was on our prayer list.)

We continued this “needs and goals” tradition every August throughout the years of raising our kids. When they reached college age, we shared the idea with them. We asked each child to e-mail us and their siblings their own needs and goals—using these five areas of growth as a guideline—for the coming year so that we could pray for each other. John and I sent each of ours to them as well. Of course, they groaned, but they did it!

Today those old e-mails are still a reminder to me of God’s faithfulness. Now that the kids are grown, we take turns sharing needs and goals at adult dinners during our family week together in the summer. This gives us specific insights into each other’s lives, and as we pray for one another in the following months we are drawn closer together as a family.

During this time of uncertainty, praying specifically for our family members will encourage us. Writing down needs and watching God provide — sometimes in unusual ways — will strengthen our hope in our heavenly Father who knows each one of intimately and who promises to provide for our needs, in His way and in His time.

(Philippians 2:13, Isaiah 55:8-9, 1 Timothy 6:17b,)

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Faith, Parenting
September 22, 2021 · 1 Comment

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  1. Keena Duncan says

    September 23, 2021 at 5:26 pm

    Thank you for sharing this blog. I needed it in this challenging time. I will share with my daughter, daughter-in-law and other young moms I disciple. You are a blessing.

    Reply

Hello, I’m Susan.

Susan Alexander Yates

I’m a wife (of 50 years), mom to five children (including a set of twins), and grandmother to 21 (including a set of quadruplets!). My favorite time of the year is when all my kids and grandkids are together for a week of “cousins and family camp” in the foothills of the Shenandoah Mountains of Virginia.

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Eleanor and Campbell are learning 5 things they ca Eleanor and Campbell are learning 5 things they can know for sure about God and having fun doing it!

If you want to see what they're learning, check out my blog: 5 Things You Can Be Sure of in a Season of Uncertainty. Link in bio! (Or go to susanalexanderyates.com/blog)

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ONE WORD: New ONE VERSE: “Remember not the for ONE WORD: New
 
ONE VERSE:
“Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert." Isaiah 43: 18-19
 
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Father, sometimes I get tired of me. Today, I ask you to do something NEW within me. I long to see YOU in new ways. Today I ask that you would give me an expectant heart that looks to you for new things in this season.
We have five children and I have been trying to we We have five children and I have been trying to wear out five Bibles. I am on my fifth and my goal is to have heavily marked and heavily worn Bibles for each one of my children when I am gone. 
I know you can read your Bible on your iPhones but there’s something very special about having a heavily marked Bible to share with your kids and grandkids so I encourage you to use paper Bibles and mark them up when you’re having your own quiet times. Use your cell phones for when you’re stuck in traffic or in an office or carpool line—just a thought.
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We long for a sense of security, for something to hold onto. And so do our children.⁣
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Amid personal and international uncertainty there are *5 things that we can know for sure* -- and I'm sharing them on the blog this week! Link in bio or go to susanalexanderyates.com/blog to check it out!
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Although she wants her child to be self confident she is actually undermining her confidence by making too many decisions and this communicates to the child, "You may not make the right decision so I will make it for you." This is not healthy for the child.⁣
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My husband John had planned a romantic night at a mountain inn on the way home. Not a good decision. Instead, I cried all the way home. My poor husband. It was not just the fact that my last were leaving it was also the pain of their being separated for the first time ever. It had been their decision and it proved to be a wise one in their maturity but at the time all I felt was grief.⁣
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On the blog this week, I'm sharing 6 things to consider as you Raise Your Child to Leave Well -- check it out! Link in bio.

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