How should we discipline our kids? This is a big question I’ve heard a lot. I’m tackling it over on Club 31 with 10 tips I hope will help you! Here’s an excerpt:
It’s happening again. We are arguing over how to discipline our child. When we were married, we had no idea this would become such a source of conflict. Both of us have strong opinions and we both come from very different models. How do we know what is right? This is driving a wedge in our relationship. We want to do what’s right for our children. We need help.”
This scene is played out in many homes. One spouse errs on the side of rules and the other on the side of grace. And the child learns to play the parents against one another. Unless you come to some kind of agreement, this nagging problem can have a negative impact on your entire family.
Picture a seesaw. One of the fun things about 2 kids playing on a seesaw is trying to achieve balance in midair. For this to happen, the heavier child needs to move in a bit while a lighter child moves back. It will take some moving around to achieve balance.
This analogy can be helpful in creating a positive approach to discipline. If one of you tends towards being strict you may need to back up. If the other tends towards grace, you may need to move in.
Ask, “Where do I see myself on the seesaw – too heavy or too light?” “Where do I see you?”
“How can we move towards a more balanced approach?”
Whatever your approach, I hope these 10 tips for disciplining your kids will be helpful:
- Realize: grace and discipline are not opposites. They are partners. Both are needed in order to raise healthy adults.
- Determine your goal: As believers, we want to raise our kids to love the Lord with all their hearts and love their neighbors. (Matthew 22:37) Our desire is that our kids grow into independent, confident adults who will make a positive contribution to our world.