We recently celebrated our annual Family Camp! For four days over Labor Day weekend, we hosted 35 family members at our small farm. This year, we had approximately 16 teenagers and 7 young adults. Four college kids flew in.
Only parents are guaranteed beds, and gracious neighbors lend us bedrooms. Kids sleep on floors, the sleeping porch, a hammock—just about anywhere. Sleeping bags, shoes, and dirty clothes cover every inch of space! You must be careful where you walk.
Before our first camp years ago, I cleaned my house. I was excited to “show it off” to my kids, and I like a clean house. However, within fifteen minutes, as the crowds arrived, it was trashed. I had to ask myself, Do I want happy kids or a clean house? I knew happy kids were more important, so I let go of the expectation of a clean house, and I haven’t cleaned before camp since!
Our family vision:
Our prayer for our family comes from Matthew 28:37-39. We pray that our children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren down the generations will love the Lord with all their heart and their neighbors as themselves. Our family members are our closest neighbors, so we pray that our kids would love and support each other all their lives.
When the little kids attended Cousin Camp for the first time, we had an initiation ceremony in which they recited the BOC (”Band of Cousins”) pledge: “As cousins, we pledge to serve the Lord and to take care of each other always.”
This is still our family vision.
What did camp look like this year?
Every year, Family Camp looks a bit different. Kids grow, and adults get tired! We think more about the next generations and how to implement activities that will support our family vision. We let go of some traditions and hold on to others. We turn more of the planning and running of activities over to the next generations.
We let go of the whipped cream fight this year (teenage girls don’t want their faces messed up). Due to a last-minute request, we had the gutter ice cream celebration again. I think this will remain for the future!
Our sons, John, a pastor, and Chris, a college professor, oversaw entertainment night. Dressed in hysterical costumes, with affected accents, they led us in an unforgettable family feud competition. The shrills and laughter echoed over the hills. One of the reasons we gave them this assignment was that nieces and nephews who know these uncles as “professionals” would see their funny sides.
Another new event was “the work project.” We divided the crowd into three teams—one to replace a rotted platform by the horse ring, another to chop wood to fill the wood box, and a third to build a wall and a firepit by a new trail in the woods. We want our grands to assume more of the maintenance of the farm. We intentionally made teams using the gifts of the leaders—a construction supervisor, woodworker, and creative leader—and mixed up the cousins to work with different ones. Building closer relational bonds is always a goal. What was surprising was how much they enjoyed the work. They seemed glad to be given something purposeful to do in which they could see the results
.We divide the grands into four teams for cooking the food and all the clean-ups. Each team takes a day, and three of our eldest girls are the chefs. With our daughter’s help, I plan all the meals, and we purchase all the food. It was fun to watch the kids singing as they cleaned!
The kids all eat together, and we parents (our ten kids) eat in the party barn. It’s a time for each couple to share something that’s been hard, something that’s been good, and a future hope, and to be prayed over by another sibling. This is a long-time tradition.
Spike ball, corn hole, Newcomb, hiking, swimming and fishing in the pond, the annual ping pong tournament, and hula hoop contest remain staples and occur as led by the kids-often while a parent sneaks away for a nap!
As the kids get older, the schedule becomes more flexible. This year, a granddaughter called before camp to ask if all the girl cousins could go to lunch together one day. A great idea! So, we changed the planned schedule around to accommodate this. Not to miss out, some of the guy cousins went out for hamburgers.
Special Moments:
- Finding out that three of the young adult cousins got up early one morning to go out to breakfast together. Watching these cousins be intentional in spending time together is what we have longed for.
- Family sharing. On our first full night, we all gathered. John asked three kids to share about their summer experience: “Tell us a highlight from your summer, and also if there’s a special message you learned from God.” Hearing from grands ages 15, 16, and 20 was very special. Other cousins raised their hands to share as well. Each time someone shared, the rest of the group spontaneously clapped!Sunday morning, we had an extended Family Worship time. A musical grandson led us in songs with his guitar. Ahead of our time, John asked a high school freshman, a high school senior, and a college sophomore to share along the lines of what has been hard, what has been good, and what are you looking forward to. He asked our grandson-in-law to give a short sermon. He’s in law school, and he gave us a solid, brief message from the book of Jonah. It was a sweet picture of a future lawyer who spends time in the scriptures, a good example for our grandkids. As a group, we laid hands on and prayed for two of our kids struggling with illnesses. Later, as a group, we went to see a terminally ill neighbor, to sing to her and to give her hugs. Together, we are experiencing both the joys and sorrows of life. Pain is real, and sharing in it together brings comfort.
Realizations and reflections:
As our kids and grandkids grow up, we are aware that our words and teachings do not have the impact that the words of older cousins or aunts and uncles do. It is a season of us becoming smaller and pointing our kids to one another.
Family camp is not primarily a time for us to have significant conversations with our grands, but for them to have time with each other. This is especially true because of our size.
We are frequently reminded that every family is messy. No one has it all together. We need lots of forgiveness, starting over, listening to one another, and making amends. However, God knows our frailties, and He is not shocked by our mess. He is the Father who forgives and redeems.
When I reflect on this precious time, I am overwhelmed with gratitude and exhaustion. We are leaning into this season of letting go and finding new joy in simply watching what God is doing. We are aware that not everyone will always be able to come to “camp.” We are simply grateful for those who can.
But one thing stands out to both me and John—LAUGHTER. As we reflected on camp this year, we both came up with this happy insight. THERE WAS SO MUCH LAUGHTER.
Some things I’m praying for our next generations:
That God would give to each grandchild older mentors who would not only encourage them in Christ but also see in them their own unique gifts and articulate these to them. (Psalm 139)
That God would protect them from the evil one, from compromising their values, and from unrecognizable temptations. (James 4:7)
That they would hunger for the pure milk of the word and become disciplined in spending time in it. (1 Peter 2:2, Psalm119:105, Proverbs 30:5)
That they would walk in integrity in a world that does not always value it. (Proverbs 10:9)
That God would give to each a small group for fellowship. (1 John 4:7-16, Provers 27:17)
That they would learn how to be exiles-unpopular- in the world as necessary and be lovingly bold in proclaiming Him. (Psalm 138:3)
That God would give to their parents His wisdom as they raise them, and that we would be faithful in praying not only for them but for these parents. (James 1:5, Proverbs 14:26)
We will likely not see instant results to these prayers, but we remember, God is working while we are waiting. He does what is best, not necessarily what is fast. (Philippians 1:6, 1 Thess 5:24. Luke 1:37.)
We are especially thankful for our friends who prayed for this time. We could not do this without you!
We realize that our situation is unique with a big family and a small farm. However, anyone can host a “Family Camp.” In my book you will learn how others do it and acquire a variety of ideas for all types of family gatherings.
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