A New Insight from Recent Family Gatherings

This past year, we were blessed to have two family gatherings. We had almost everyone together. There are 35 of us now with all our kids, our grands, and one “great.” It’s wild, overwhelming, noisy, chaotic, exhausting, but most of all, a rich blessing.

Our first gathering was the wedding of our grandson Will to our beloved Harmony. The wedding was held at our farm in the pasture with about 200 in attendance. It was over 100 degrees in the sun! These two kids and their friends love the Lord, and it was a beautiful celebration of fun and faith throughout the whole evening, from dancing to sharing testimonies to hysterical laughter.

The second gathering was our annual “Family Camp” over Thanksgiving.

For 11 years, we hosted a yearly “Cousin Camp” for 3 nights (for grands ages 4 and up, no parents allowed!) Then, the parents and small children arrived for 3 more days of family camp. In the past few years, we have switched to one annual Family Camp. Different school schedules, teenagers, college kids, and individual family schedules called for this change, and it has been a good one.

John and I did most of the planning for our Family Camp. Highlights were a 5K race at a local State Park, a fun night, and a family worship service. And, of course, the traditional Dad’s hula hoop contest, ping pong tournament, volleyball, and spike ball. Unplanned, there was a frigid “polar plunge” into the pond initiated by some crazy grands.

What was different?

Today, our grandkids range in age from 12 to 27, living in 3 different states. These kids seem to increase in energy, while John and I seem to be leaking energy! We have realized it’s time to turn more and more of the leadership over to them.

This is cousin bonding for them, makes camp more fun, and relieves us of some of the planning.

This year, two cousins planned and ran the 5K, complete with awards for creative categories. Other cousins organized tournaments- making the brackets and posting the winners.

Two different cousins planned a hysterical game night. They read slang words from their generation and their parents, divided into two teams—Moms against Dads— had to guess the meaning, hitting a buzzer to answer. Words like “cap,” “drip,” and “fire” stumped the adults. It was so funny that one of the dads included words from their generation and had the kids guess. John and I failed both generations!

We paired up cousins to do all the kitchen clean up and much of the cooking. We wanted our adult kids to have a break! What fun to watch them dance to very loud music as they did dishes!

John and I planned the Thanksgiving family worship service. Our daughter Libby, who has young teens, suggested we have the older cousins share the “sermon.” A brilliant idea that proved to have unexpected and profound impacts. We asked 3 of our college kids, a freshman, a sophomore, and a junior, to share their answers to these questions:

1. What has been something hard about this year?

2. What has been something good?

3. What verse in scripture has been meaningful to you?

4. What advice would you give your younger cousins?

The kids were very candid, vulnerable, and humorous. Each one of us was touched, and this is a new tradition we will continue in the future.

What new insights about Family gatherings did we come away with this year?

• Older cousins’ words can have a more powerful impact than those of parents or grandparents.
• It’s important to be turning over more and more things to the next generations.
  
  Once, when our granddaughter Grey was 4, she asked me at camp, “Ghee (my name) who is going to run camp when you are dead?”
  
  You are Grey,” I laughingly responded. Now, at 16, she and her cousins are taking on more and more leadership roles. And it’s a joy for me and John to observe this.
• God is working while we are waiting. We may not see His hand or answers to prayers when our kids are young. We will often feel like failures as parents and grandparents. It’s helpful to remember: Our ability to ruin our kids is not nearly as great as His power to redeem them.

Years ago, I painted this verse on an old bed at our farm:

“‘As for me, this is my covenant with them,’ says the Lord. ‘My Spirit who is on you, will not depart from you, and my words that I have put in your mouth will always be on your lips, on the lips of your children, and on the lips of their descendants—from this time on and forever,’ says the Lord.”

This is a great prayer for each of us.

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Are you planning a family gathering of any type—your kids and grands, extended family, adults only—for one day or several days?

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You can learn more about Cousin Camp here.