This week I’m blogging over at Club31Women about some lessons John and I have learned in our 51+ years of marriage. The truth is, every marriage has conflict. You need to know how to handle it well — and how to resolve it with love.
I hope these ideas are helpful to you!
So, do have conflict in your marriage?
If your answer is “no” you may be the only couple in the world. (Or you could be in denial!)
Every marriage experiences conflict.
We are two sinful, selfish humans trying to become one. Conflict is as old as creation. Adam and Eve got into conflict as to whose fault it was. And we’ve inherited their self-centeredness, a desire to be right, a tendency to blame, and a need to control.
John and I have been married for over 51 years now. We are very familiar with conflict. We’ve experienced it, we’ve seen it in others, and yet we’ve grown from it. In this world, we will always have conflict.
The goal in marriage is not to be conflict-free but to learn how to resolve conflict in a healthy manner.
Here are 6 things that might help marriage conflict:
1. Never use the “D” word
I have a vivid memory of our first fight. It was sometime during our first year of marriage. I remember bursting into tears and saying to John,
“Maybe we never should have gotten married in the first place.”
My extremely even-tempered husband responded in righteous anger,
“Susan, don’t you ever say that again. We are married period. We will work this argument and future ones out, but don’t you ever say that again.”