• About
  • Books
  • One Word
  • Cousin Camp
  • Speaking
  • Audio
  • Blog
    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • Pinterest
    • Twitter
    • YouTube
Susan Alexander Yates

Susan Alexander Yates

Wisdom for Every Season

  • Character
  • Faith
  • Family
  • Seasons
  • Marriage
  • Parenting
  • Cousin Camp
  • Ask Susan

4 FREE Things Your Kids Need Most From You

by Susan Alexander Yates

This week I’m blogging over at Club31Women about the things our kids really need from us. Here’s an excerpt.

Today there are so many voices telling us what our kids need. Or telling us that if we want to be  “good parents,”  we have to provide _________. 

From opportunities to extracurricular activities, to the latest technology, to stuff (hip shoes, a car, a trip.). The list goes on and on and guess what? It will never stop growing. 

At the beach when our kids were little. You might not be able to tell from this pic but I was overwhelmed!

It’s easy for us to fall prey to parental peer pressure.

Her child is on a travel sports team, but we don’t have the luxury to do that. Her child is involved in more activities outside of school. Her child has a special tutor for college prep.

When we compare ourselves to that other parent, we seem to fall short. And when we experience sadness or even bitterness from our child, we feel even worse. We don’t like to disappoint. 

What makes this hard is that most of the opportunities are good. It’s far easier to say “no” to something that is not good than it is to discern between good and best. 

So, what do our kids really need from us?

Consider these 4 things:

1. They need to know they are not first. 

OK this sounds strange. Particularly in our child-oriented society. However, our child’s security grows not when they get whatever they want but when they intuitively know that Mom and Dad are in charge. Their parents may say “no.” A child who calls the shots in the home will become insecure, not secure. God did not intend for that child to have that much authority over his or her parents. Consider a strong willed 4-year-old. One who is rarely told “no.” She stomps her foot and says, I have to, I want to, I need to…” 

Underneath her demands is the desire to control and this is unhealthy. A child who consistently gets his way is most likely to grow into a spouse who demands his way, ignoring the wishes of his spouse. 

So what do we as parents do?

Click here to continue reading at Club31Women: 4 Things Your Kids Need Most (and they’re free!)

Share
Pin1
Tweet
Email
Print
1Share
Share
Share
Pin
Text

You may also enjoy...

Parenting
November 2, 2022 · Leave a Comment

« Finding Hope in the Dark: Remember These 3 Things
How to Transform Your Thanksgiving This Year With Outrageous Gratitude »

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Hello, I’m Susan.

Susan Alexander Yates

I’m a wife (of more than 50 years), mom to five children (including a set of twins), and grandmother to 21 (including a set of quadruplets!). My favorite time of the year is when all my kids and grandkids are together for a week of “cousins and family camp” in the foothills of the Shenandoah Mountains of Virginia.

Read more…

Recent Posts

  • 10 Questions to Ask Yourself When You Need to Make a Hard Decision
  • Celebrate! Your Recipe for a One-Day Summer Gratitude Extravaganza
  • Feeling Afraid? Remembering God’s Faithfulness Will Help
  • Our Weeping, Suffering Savior: Why This Matters to Me & You
  • How God’s Creation Comforts and Restores Me

One Word

One Word: Sufficient

Featured Books

And Then I Had Kids: Encouragement for Mothers of Young Children

And Then I Had Kids: Encouragement for Mothers of Young Children
Buy This Book Online
Buy from Amazon
Buy from Audible.com
And Then I Had Kids: Encouragement for Mothers of Young Children
Buy now!

Character Matters: Raising Kids With Values That Last

Character Matters: Raising Kids With Values That Last
Buy This Book Online
Buy from Amazon
Character Matters: Raising Kids With Values That Last
Buy now!
  • Certainty In Christ
  • Subscribe
  • Contact
  • Media Kit
  • Privacy Policy
  • Site Index

Search

Character Matters: Raising Kids With Values That Last

Character Matters: Raising Kids With Values That Last
Buy This Book Online
Buy from Amazon
Character Matters: Raising Kids With Values That Last
Buy now!

Popular

  • Our Best Advice for Your Marriage: What We’ve…
  • What’s the big deal about a donkey?
  • How Do You Do It? (Questions for a Mom of Quads)

One Word: Saves One Verse: “The saying is tr One Word:  Saves
 
One Verse:

“The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost." 1 Timothy 1:15
 
One Thought:

Father, I am a sinner. Thank you for saving me once and for all. Help ______ to come to realize that you want to save him (or her) as well. Your nature is to save. Your love compels it. You cannot help it. You sent Jesus to redeem each one of us.
On a walk the other day I noticed beautiful Iris p On a walk the other day I noticed beautiful Iris plants beginning to bloom. They were surrounded by plants I didn't recognized except that I know some were weeds. 

This metaphor came to mind: ‘Our lives have both beauty and weeds mixed together. It’s easy to focus on the weeds (illnesses, hurtful relationships, a difficult decision, a longing unfulfilled), however it’s healthier to focus on the beauty. 

And if we don’t know what is a weed or a possible plant God knows. He will reveal them to us when we need to know and what we discover may surprise us. It helps to remember that HE is in the midst of whatever we are experiencing.
I have a gift for you this week! In my blog, I'm s I have a gift for you this week! In my blog, I'm sharing 10 questions to ask yourself when you're trying to make a hard decision. ⁣
⁣
We all struggle with decision-making! Especially when it's not a clear moral choice between right and wrong.⁣
⁣
Some years ago, my pastor husband John came up with this list of 10 questions to help make decisions. I'm sharing them on the blog, and my friend, artist Jess Blanchard @jessblanchardstudio turned them into a gorgeous bookmark you can download for free.⁣
⁣
You might want to laminate it and keep it in your Bible. I hope it's a blessing to you.⁣
⁣
Read the blog and download the bookmark -- link in bio, or go to susanalexanderyates.com/blog
One Word: Holds One Verse: “Nevertheless, I One Word:  Holds
 
One Verse:

“Nevertheless, I am continually with you; you hold my right hand." Psalm 73:23
 
One Thought:

Dear God, help me to remember all day today that you are holding my hand. You never let go.
I just got back from a quick trip to Chicago with I just got back from a quick trip to Chicago with two friends (Barbara Rainey and Joanne Thompson) to hear poet Malcolm Guite @uitemalcolm3774 lecture and to visit the Lilias Trotter collection at Wheaton College. We got to read her journals and hold her precious art. She was an artist in the late 1800’s who gave up a promising career to go to Algeria for the next 20 years to minister to poor women. @laurawatershinson has produced a movie about her called Many Beautiful Things. (It's wonderful! Look it up if you haven't seen it.) #manybeautifulthingsmovie 

We were inspired by both of these people. It was wonderfully refreshing to get out of our own worlds and away from ”our stuff” and focus on something completely “other!” We all need to do this😊
This verse from Psalm 105 speaks to me. How easy i This verse from Psalm 105 speaks to me. How easy it is to forget -- rather than to remember -- what He has done. Or to focus on all the crises around me. It’s easy to lose perspective on life and on what God is doing. ⁣
⁣
Setting aside a specific day this summer for celebrating God's faithfulness will restore our PERSPECTIVE.⁣
⁣
I'm sharing ideas in my blog you might want to use to put together a summer gratitude extravaganza of your own!  I hope you'll check it out.⁣
⁣
Link in bio, or go to susanalexanderyates.com/blog⁣
⁣
Let us remember the wonders He has done!
One Word: Mighty One Verse: “O Lord God of h One Word:  Mighty
 
One Verse:

“O Lord God of hosts, who is mighty as you are, O Lord, with your faithfulness all around you?" Psalm 89:9
 
One Thought:

Father, too often I forget that you are mighty. I unknowingly assign to you my own weakness without even realizing it. Forgive me. I want to dwell on your mighty power today. Your might levels mountains, raises seas, heals diseases, changes hearts and creates a complex human body. When I focus on your might my perspective is restored.
@jodie_berndt’s new book, Praying the Scriptures @jodie_berndt’s new book, Praying the Scriptures for your Marriage, is the #1 book I would recommend on marriage.

Written with her husband Robbie, it’s honest, funny and very practical. Her down to earth style will make you feel normal with the challenges we all face in marriage, but she doesn’t leave us there. She provides us with tips for communication, relevant scriptures, and samples of specific prayers to pray for your marriage. Get a copy for yourself and several for wedding gifts or anniversary presents!

We’ve been married 53 years and this book is so good for us!

Thank you Jodie!
A craft table at the farm with some of our budding A craft table at the farm with some of our budding artists (grandchildren). ⁣
⁣
I have an idea for you: Let's put on our calendars now a SUMMER CELEBRATION DAY!⁣
⁣
The purpose? To set aside one whole day to recount God’s faithfulness with thanksgiving. This simple act can lead to a day of praise and worship and a closeness with others as we share His goodness together.⁣
⁣
There are so many ways you can do this! On your own, on a day-long (or hour-long) retreat. With your immediate or extended family. With church friends. ⁣
⁣
Out in a park or inside on a rainy day. With a craft table like ours or with music or food or sports -- or all of the above!⁣
⁣
I'm sharing lots of ideas in this week's blog: Celebrate! Your Recipe for a One-Day Summer Gratitude Extravaganza  Link in bio or go to susanalexanderyates.com/blog⁣
⁣
I hope you'll plan something and I'd love to hear what you do!

Copyright © 2023 · Susan Alexander Yates · All Rights Reserved
Calligraphy by Jessica Blanchard · Paintings by Christen Yates
Blog and Ask Susan Photo by Natalie Puls Photography · Books Photo by Cambria Elizabeth

We use cookies to ensure that we give you the best experience on our website. If you continue to use this site we will assume that you are happy with it.OkayPrivacy Policy