I’m thrilled to have Katherine Wolf sharing her story today as a guest on my site. At the age of 26, Katherine had a serious stroke which has left her with disabilities. Katherine and her husband Jay have written an amazing book, Hope Heals. I cried my way through the first chapters of this book. Their story is raw, vulnerable and hard. However as I continued to read, something happened to me. I began to see in a very tangible way how much bigger God is than I realize. My heart was moved from devastation to hope. Their story is an example of what I write about in my new book Risky Faith. -Susan
People often ask if I ever had a moment of true despair in the wake of my stroke. I think the answer is Yes AND No. If I truly despaired, I don’t think I’d be here today, but the closest I ever came was about 6 months after I had survived.
It was a few days before Thanksgiving in 2008. I was very, very bad off still, recovering in a brain rehab surrounded by death and tragedy and a growing awareness of the horror of my new normal. I had taken my ninth swallowing test which I felt deeply assured I would pass as a gift from God entering the holiday season. I failed it and was thus slapped with the reality that I could not eat, could not walk, could barely talk, could hardly hold up my own head, let alone play, engage or take care of my one-year old child. If I was gone, the burden of caring for me and the sadness that came with it would be lifted off the people I loved most in the world. Jay could re-marry an able-bodied woman, and James could have a “normal” mommy. Clearly God had made a mistake by letting me live.
Just as these thoughts began to wash over me, flooding into the deepest places of my broken heart, they were overwhelmed by—I was overwhelmed by—one of the most unusual and life-changing experiences. Though it wasn’t an audible voice from God, it was an awakening of scripture, a vibrant reminder of all the truest things about me and about God, things I had known my whole life but that came to my mind in the moment I needed them most with more clarity and purpose than ever before. I recounted this “epiphany of hope” in my book, Hope Heals. I believe these words were for me in that moment, but they are for you too…
‘Katherine, you are not a mistake. I DON’T MAKE MISTAKES. I know better than you know. I’m God, and you’re not. Remember that you were fearfully and wonderfully made in your mother’s womb, and that is when the AVM formed in your brain.
There is purpose in all of this. Just wait. You’ll see. There is no replacing you! Jay could never, ever marry a woman as amazing as you. James could never have a mommy like you. Think about what this will mean for his life. Mommy’s stroke will always be a part of his story. That is a gift to him. It will inform his life. Let him consider it pure joy as he grows. All of this will teach him in ways beyond anything you could say or do.
Trust Me. I am working out EVERYTHING for your good. Don’t doubt this truth just because you are in darkness now. What’s true in the light is true in the dark.
I know you can’t fight this. That doesn’t matter. All you have to do is be still and let Me fight for you. I will complete the good work I began when I gave you new life. I will carry it on to completion. Believe that. My nature is to redeem and restore and strengthen. This terrible season will come to an end. You will suffer for a little while, and then I will carry you out of this.
You will see My goodness in the land of the living. Lean into this hope. Let it teach you how special you are. Most people will never go through this kind of hell on earth. I have chosen you. Live a life worthy of this special calling you have received.’
(pg. 164, Hope Heals by Katherine and Jay Wolf)
Excerpt from Hope Heals reprinted with permission from Zondervan Publishing House and Katherine & Jay Wolf, Copyright 2016.
Visit hopeheals.com for more information on Hope Heals, including a free downloadable book discussion guide. Keep up with the Wolf’s continuing story on all social media @hopeheals.
Becky Payne says
Katherine’s and Kay’s story is so encouraging, especially when there is so much suffering in this world. Fortunately in my career as a nurse I have seen some amazing stories of faith in our heavenly Father, but also some tragic stories of families broken apart by devastating disease or accidents. There story is a wonderful testimony to a world who needs to be reminded of the fullness of our Father’s love and all that we have and are, as his children !
Susan Yates says
Thanks Susan! You are a blessing and thanks for letting Katherine and Jay know how God is using them.
Hugs, Susan
And thank you Becky!! It’s great to hear your encouragement with your nursing background!
Love, Susan
Susan Keller says
I am so glad that Katherine and Jay are going to tell their story at the Falls Church! I read about them about a year ago as a dear sister in Christ in our community here has suffered for many years in a different way (brain tumor with radiation effects that have left her with increasing immobility and cognitive skills) and she and her husband were deeply moved and ministered to by Hope Heals. Praise God for the Wolfs so surrendered to Christ for the comfort and encouragement of others to turn to Him. A costly price but I know that the Lord is blessing them beyond imagination.
Jodie Berndt says
Love this post and can’t wait to welcome Katherine and Jay to Virginia Beach next week: Thursday night at 6:30 at Galilee Church and on Friday at the Changing Seasons luncheon (sold out!) at the Princess Anne Country Club. God is so good and his power shows through in such an incredible way in this amazing couple. Thank you for giving them your space, Susan! xo
Susan Yates says
So glad you are having them Jodie. We are both going to be blessed!
Love you!
Susan
susan mickey says
What an amazing story, amazing person, her story has encouraged me, my life long struggle with depression, thank you
Susan Yates says
Thank you Susan Mickey. God is using them to encourage, encourage. We do have a BIG GOD.
Love, Susan Yates