A Deeper Truth about Forgiveness that We Sometimes Miss

A friend was suffering, depressed, feeling like a bad person, convinced she wasn’t good enough for God to really love her or at least accept her. Even though she’d walked closely with Him for many years, trying to “soldier on,” she could not shake a deep feeling of unworthiness. Trying to hide it from herself and others, she fell deeper into the pit of self-condemnation. Sadly, her story is all too common for both men and women.

Why do we hide stuff?

We tell ourselves: God can’t forgive “that,” or if He really knew what I’ve done, or thought or…, He couldn’t accept me. I’m not really a good person. I know God promises forgiveness, but I am just not worthy of it.

Wait a minute!

What I’m really saying is, my sin is greater than God’s sacrifice of Jesus on the cross.

Yikes. Sit with this thought. It’s a wake-up call!

Do I really believe that His sacrifice isn’t good enough for my sin? That I need an encore, I need something more, something better?

How this must hurt our Father and make light of what His Son went through-emotional pain, public humiliation, physical brutality, desertion by friends, seemingly the ultimate defeat—all to take our place (to conquer death and rise again) so we could be spared, forgiven, and assured of eternal life. No one is worthy.

My sin is not more powerful than His sacrifice. The power of His death on the cross was enough.

“It is finished,” were his final words as He died. (John 19:30)

His Sacrifice was and is enough.

Do we misunderstand “His knowing?”

We may tell ourselves, “If God knew what I’ve done, or still do, He could not accept me.”

True fact: He does know. Every single thing. This can be humiliating, or it can be wonderfully freeing.

In our Anglican liturgy, we recite an ancient prayer called the “Collect for Purity” (Book of Common Prayer, Anglican Church in N. America).

Almighty God, unto whom all hearts are open, all desires known and from whom no secrets are hid, cleanse the thoughts of our hearts by the inspiration of thy Holy Spirit that we may perfectly love thee, and worthily magnify thy holy Name, through Christ our Lord.

David expresses a similar thought in Psalm 139. “You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.”

This can be either terribly threatening and humiliating or wonderfully freeing. David himself was one of the great sinners. He committed murder, adultery, and numerous other offenses, and yet God called him a man after his own heart. (1 Samuel 13:14). I like to think that was because he was completely honest with God, and He came to understand that there was nothing he could hide from Him.

Coming Clean

I recently visited some of my grandkids who have a new cold plunge tub. I was intrigued as every night teen boys came over for the plunge!

“Ghee, you should try it,” they urged me.

I did not want to do this, and I do not like cold water, but grandsons can place a unique pressure on a grandparent, so with their urging and support, I took the dive.

Brutal.

And yet after a brief time of recovery, I felt cleansed as never before and reinvigorated with surprising energy. A simplistic metaphor, and yet it was a picture of what confession offers. After all, I can’t hide my sins from God. He knows all, and we come clean by humbly asking His forgiveness. Each morning, I pray as did David, “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in thy way everlasting.” (Pslam139:23-24.) I await his convictions and confess them -a critical spirit toward a certain person, a bad habit I gave into again, an unkind word I spoke, a festering resentment, etc. Then I gratefully accept His forgiveness and am filled with awe at His constant, never-ending love and acceptance.

As Paul says, “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Romans 8:1

Here’s a shocking promise about God: “As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.” (Psalm 103) And when our Father forgives our sins, He chooses to remember them no more. (Jeremiah 31:34)

We are unworthy-every single one of us. Sometimes it’s sins from way in the past that haunt us. We say, “Lord, I’m so unworthy. And He says, “You are my child.”

We are embarrassed by our weaknesses. Phrases like, “I know I should but…”

We tell ourselves, I can ask for forgiveness, but I probably will do the same thing again—I can’t change. This is just who I am. Instead of calling on his power to changeus, we try to change ourselves, and we fail, again and again. God has given us the Holy Spirit to be our helper. He has the power to bring about change in our lives if we let him. Paul too was weak, but God said to him, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:8)

We have to repeat this good news to ourselves over and over again.

Rarely can we come clean alone. We need one or two same sex believing friends with whom we can be completely honest and who will be there to hold us accountable and to encourage us along the way.

Finding a new hope

Our God is THE GOD of HOPE. He is gentle, and He is kind. There is nothing He can’t forgive, no one He can’t change. As Luke reminds us, “For nothing will be impossible with God.” (Luke 1:37, CSB version)

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For further study, notice how Jesus responded to Peter after He denied Him 3 times and the promise and hope that He gave him. (John 21:15-25.)

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Be sure to check out my book, Risky Faith.