8 Ingredients for a Lasting Marriage


Our 40th Wedding vow renewal!

In a few weeks John and I will celebrate 46 years of marriage. It seems to have gone by way too fast, but with five married kids and 21 grandchildren we haven’t had much time to notice the pace. We are simply thankful.

Today we are most grateful for our sweet companionship. No, our marriage isn’t perfect. We still fight and we still have to forgive—frequently. But the years of pressing together through challenges and blessings have produced a stronger blend of oneness.

Recently I jotted down eight ingredients that have helped me as a wife to grow in my marriage.

1. Recognize that no man can love you as much as you want to be loved. Only God can. Run to Him first. Spend time in His word and in prayer. It will relieve the pressure on your marriage.

2. Have a few close girl friends with whom you can share your heart. These should be women who are for your marriage, always pushing you to Christ and toward your husband.

3. Refuse the temptation to “emotionally withdraw.” And you will be tempted—many times. Recognize it, resist it, and instead do whatever it takes to grow closer to one another.

4. Pray daily for your husband—for God to bless him, for him to know how much God loves him, for his professional needs, and for God to give him some Christian guy friends.

5. Make time with him a priority. Put him before the kids. Establish a regular date night and keep it.

6. Hit the “delete button” on your mental list of the things he does wrong. Instead ask God to remind you of one trait you appreciate in him every day and tell your husband about it. This is your daily marriage vitamin.

7. Do fun, silly, new things together and nurture laughter.

8. Be quick to ask forgiveness and to forgive, even if you don’t feel like it or want to. Healing takes time but the healing process begins with forgiveness.

Marriage is a gift. Your husband is a gift. And with God at the center of your union you can grow closer as the years increase.

This blog was originally posted for Momlife Today.


Renewing our vows on our 40th Anniversary



10 Comments on 8 Ingredients for a Lasting Marriage

  1. Susan Yates
    August 24, 2015 at 11:30 pm (3 years ago)

    thanks so much for writing! We just with we lived closer to you!
    Hugs, Susan

  2. Joanna Edwards
    August 21, 2015 at 6:40 pm (3 years ago)

    I always love your advice!

  3. Kathy COOKE
    August 20, 2015 at 11:12 pm (3 years ago)

    Hi Susan! You’re articles are such a blessing. Last weekend, our son Daniel got married! As he and Anna start their lives together, I will share the 8 ingredients article with them…relatable to them as much to us, after 33 years! How awesome to see all your grandkids! Can’t wait to start that journey. (:
    BLessings to you and John.
    Love, Kathy

    • Susan Yates
      August 24, 2015 at 11:29 pm (3 years ago)

      Congratulations to Daniel. I heard from Kim Doerr how wonderful the wedding was!
      Miss you all still!
      Love, Susan

  4. Lynn Owen
    August 20, 2015 at 10:24 pm (3 years ago)

    I’m impressed you can still fit in your wedding dress. We are on 46 too. I appreciated your 8 reminders on marriage. We need to work on a few of those.

    • Susan Yates
      August 24, 2015 at 11:27 pm (3 years ago)

      The funny thing is that I couldn’t zip it up the back so was new style backless:)
      love ya, Susan

  5. Susan Clarkson Keller
    August 20, 2015 at 2:32 am (3 years ago)

    I especially like that daily “vitamin” discipline…it is SO easy to focus on the negative! I needed to hear this today, Susan. I love you and all you are doing for the Kingdom. I want to grow up to be just like YOU! 🙂

    • Susan Yates
      August 24, 2015 at 11:26 pm (3 years ago)

      I love you Susan Clarkson! I admire you so much and can’t wait to see in in SC sometime!

  6. Keith Crosswhite
    August 13, 2015 at 6:20 pm (3 years ago)

    Thanks, Susan… So true, and great reminders… How blessed you are with all these little lives God has allowed you to impact!😘


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